WYSIWYG

Tuesday Afternoon

2010-07-27T13:49:00.004-04:00

Darkness there, and nothing more.

Edgar Allan Poe
"The Raven"

It's the middle of the day - 1:50 PM as I start writing this, to be precise - and I'm sitting in my basement. Not unusual, mind you, because it's a workday and I work in my basement. What is unusual, however, is that all of the lights are off in the basement, my computer's monitor brightness is considerably lessened from its normal setting, and I'm wearing sunglasses. I have a huge headache and I am extremely sensitive to light today, although I'm not necessarily ready to pronounce that I've got a full on migraine. That can wait until after I'm done with the devotional at WVIHOP, at which point I'll crash on the bed and start whining like a baby for Holli to take care of me.

Nonetheless, here I sit like Bono, sunglasses on in a very dark room, much too cool for the schooling that's going on upstairs. So, while I wait for the internet to bring me what I need, I'll ramble a little bit.

Brianna is spending the week with her grandmother, who had surgery on her foot. Our eldest is being a servant this week, taking care of her grandma, bringing her things, and being her feet so that grandma can rest. I could not be more proud of her.

My distaste for secular media continues to grow, which is actually somewhat shocking to me considering how much distaste I hold for it in general at this point. I've decided today that I'm going back to a low-media-content information diet, and eliminating all of the news sites I visit. If something truly important happened in the world while I wasn't paying attention, someone I talk to during the day will tell me or I'll find out about it when I check up on my friends on Facebook.

I'm looking forward to some opportunities that are coming up. I won't say anything further, though, as I don't want to jinx any of them. So how about y'all just pray for me and we'll go from there?

Oh, look. The Internet has faithfully brought me what I needed. Back to work now.

Unconventional

2010-07-15T14:58:00.005-04:00

Been a while since you've had one of those, hasn't it?

George Lowe
as Space Ghost
"Baffler Meal"
Space Ghost Coast to Coast

You know, I don't know why I don't come here to write anymore, to be honest. I love to write, and my abandonment of the blog as an outlet for that has been somewhat sudden and unexpected. I blame Facebook and Twitter. I'm going to have to get back to posting here, but in a somewhat random and undisciplined fashion as fitting with the way I do everything else, really.

No time for a recap of what's happened in the months since I've posted, so let's just say that life is largely amazing right now and go from there. No, today I come here for a purpose: to talk about being unconventional. Quite literally, in fact, before moving on to the figurative.

I am literally casting aside conventions today. Specifically, I'm hereby refusing to use the established database naming conventions that I've used for seven years now. I was encouraged to use them by the last boss I had before going into self-employment, and carried the practice on into my entrepreneurship. Why do I do it that way? Well, I started doing it because it's what everyone else does; using the naming conventions makes life easier for anyone else who might follow you and need to use your code, and it also makes it easier for you if you're the type who forgets what type one of your database variables is. You know what? I'm not going to forget what one of my variables, I honestly don't care if anyone could carry on my work if I were dead, and if I ever hire someone, they'd better be smart enough to work from my existing code. If I have to hamstring the way I work to accommodate an employee, I should probably have picked a better employee.

I also used those naming conventions because it was the way I'd been doing it for years. It felt comfortable, even though it might be somewhat contrary to the way my mind works. It was just the rote memory thing to do when I created a database to slap those prefixes I've been using for years on it. I don't know if there's anyone else out there whose brain works that way, but I know at least that when I do the same thing over and over and over again, I start to develop patterns of working. Even if, as in this case, they're actually detrimental to my performance.

So, effective with the database I'm writing today, the conventions are out of FortySixTen Studios' corporate policy manual (which is totally not pencil notes on a napkin). I hate them, they slow me down, and they're counterintuitive to an ambidextrous brain such as my own. This makes me want to kick myself for having done it for so long, but like I said, that's the way I'd been doing it for years and it's the way everyone else does it, so why stop doing it?

Because it's the wrong way for me to do things, that's why.

I am somewhat unconventional. I'm working out of my quote-unquote office, which is a six-foot folding table in my basement, which doubles as the master bedroom in our home. My beautiful wife homeschools our kids, and I spend at least three days a week playing music for my God and an empty room at the local House of Prayer. We don't have cable, or even a TV antenna to watch your favorite network programming. I - and by extension, my family, what with me being the family's leader and all - just kinda weird.

Today, I embraced a small part of that. I need to keep on it.

Why BattleTech Is the Best Game on the Planet

2010-03-01T20:05:00.003-05:00

Though the scientific reality of fusion engines prevents them from exploding, the dramatic effect of such an expensive piece of machinery blowing up in a huge ball of fire is so appealing to the majority of BattleTech players that this rule was created to satisfy the common desire for a good explosion.

Tactical Operations
Catalyst Game Labs

Warning! Beyond here there be geek stuff!

I've been playing BattleTech, the aforementioned best game on the planet, with Connor lately. It's inherent in parents to share what we love with our kids; we do it with faith, with food, with music, and with our leisure activities. It's designed for ages twelve and up according to the box, but at almost eight now, he seems to be handling it just fine.

Anyway, we had a two-on-two battle tonight, up from the one-on-one affairs we'd had at Connor's request. He fielded an old-style Spider and a shiny, 75-ton Lao-Hu against my Hatchetman and Caesar. Not fair, perhaps, but blame the Random Assignment Tables.

Things did not go well for the boy. He rushed up with the Lao-Hu and was able to do significant damage to my Caesar, but at the cost of taking significant damage himself and letting the Hatchetman get behind him to, well, do what its name implies. The Hatchetman didn't get the chance, though, as the damage from all the fire it absorbed and a failed piloting roll knocked it down to the ground. He survived the boot to the right torso from the Hatchetman, though, and we went on to the next turn.

On the following turn, my Caesar was content to stay right where it was and keep firing at the downed Lao-Hu. Naturally, Connor tried to stand, but he failed another piloting roll. He crashed to the ground again, and through some odds-defying rolls of the dice blew up his mech's engine in spectacular fashion, leaving him with just the tiny Spider and almost certain defeat.

Not wanting him to go away empty handed, I fished out TacOps and looked up the rule for engine explosion. Four engine criticals in a turn? Check. Roll ten or more on the dice? Connor took care of that one with boxcars. So the engine explodes in spectacular fashion. The resulting nuclear fireball flayed armor off of my Hatchetman and tore one of its arms off completely, in addition to nearly coring the nearby Spider. The Spider then promptly turned tail and fled the battlefield, Connor's way of forfeiting.

What makes this so awesome, you ask? Imagination painting out the picture of what happened. You've got a two-story tall, 75-ton, anthropomorphic, walking tank that just fell down, causing the fiery, nuclear heart within its chest that gave it life to explode in a giant ball of flame, severely crippling the other two giant, anthropomorphic, walking tanks nearby. I'd go see that movie. But even better, I got to share that memory with a seven-year-old boy. Life is good.

I Want to Drink More Food

2009-11-04T15:34:00.003-05:00

This is like drinking pumpkin pie!

Larry Swank

Thanks to Christmas Creep, I guess the Christmas season is upon us? Meh. I hate Christmas Creep. Stop trying to sell me Christmas presents and make everyone think that Christmas is about presents and commercialism instead of the birth of our Lord and Savior into this world as a man. But that's not what this blog post is about.

This blog post is about one of the good things about Christmas Creep: the early advent of specialty foods. In this case, specifically, Prairie Farms Old Recipe milk. They've got egg nog, candy cane milk, chocolate cherry, and chocolate mint milk. They're delicious, and each quart comes with a free punch to the arteries. They've also got a pumpkin spice flavor (which I suppose is more a Thanksgiving thing negating my ramble at the beginning of the post, but it stays anyway) which tastes exactly like drinking pumpkin pie. It's like you took a piece of pumpkin pie - just the awesome guts part, not the crust - stuck it in a blender with some milk, and then drank what came out on the other side. It is incredible, and I recommend that you try it immediately.

It got me thinking, though, that we need to have more foods liquefied for our convenience, though. Foods like these:

Lasagna. It's got cheese in it so the dairy base is already there. It wouldn't be hard to come up with some tangy, smooth drinking lasagna milk. How delicious would that be for a quick lunch, huh? Yes, I'm completely serious. Chug down some milk and get the tangy taste of tomato sauce and some well-spiced sausage as it goes down. Yum.
Jell-O. Yeah, I know that such a thing as fruit juice exists, but it's not the same. You know how if you have a chocolate shake and let it melt and then drink it that it tastes similar to - but distinctly different from - chocolate milk? I'm proposing that the same would be true with Jell-O. There's this flavor quality in Jell-O that doesn't exist in real fruit. I chalk it up to what Jell-O is actually made of. In any case, Liquid Jell-O, please. And don't tell me just to make Jell-O and drink it before it hardens. I want to buy this stuff at a Speedway when I'm in a hurry.
Brownies and apple pie. I used to work at Steak and Shake when I was in high school, and we were all the time making non-standard shakes for ourselves. Our two favorites were hot fudge brownie shakes and apple pie shakes. We'd make the original desert, heated up and all, and then dump it into the blender with some ice milk to make the best shakes ever. Someone box this up for me.
Bologna and eggs. Here's how you make bologna and eggs - scramble some eggs, dump in some fried bologna, and then melt cheese over it before serving. Try it, think about how delicious it is, and then imagine drinking such a concoction. This is one you'd have to serve warm, maybe before bed.
Creme brule. This is probably the most reasonable of my suggestions. Take the richest dessert I can think of and liquefy it. Is this so hard? Honestly. I mean, you couldn't set it on fire or burn the top of it or anything, but that's not the point. The point is that I want to drink creme brule. If you've got to burn something to enjoy it, set fire to the carton with a blowtorch after you empty it.
Your favorite kids' breakfast cereal. Doesn't matter what it is, this would be a goldmine. You know that the best part of any bowl of cereal is the milk leavins'. Count Chocula is delicious, yeah, but the Count Chocula flavored milk that's left over after you finish the cereal? That's a delicacy. You could ship that stuff east and come back with boat loads of spices and gunpowder if you survived the voyage. We've been to the moon, so why can't I buy milk that tastes like there's been Captain Crunch sitting in it for half an hour? And Frosted Flakes flavored milk? That's the king of milk leavins'. That could replace cow-flavored milk in every American household. You know it's better than normal milk.
Bacon. That's right, liquid bacon. This one doesn't need any explanation at all, quite honestly. It's liquid bacon. It'd be delicious. And just think of the potential for it as a topping! Squirt a little liqiud bacon on top of any cheeseburger or on your eggs (or even your bologna and eggs) and you've got an instant party!

And yes, I'm completely serious. I'd drink all of that stuff. I'd buy liquid bacon by the case, I'd have a gallon of Frosted Flakes flavored milk in my fridge at all times, and creme brule flavored milk would likely put me in ICU in short order. C'mon, corporate America food producers! Put your chemicals and hormones to good use for once and make something awesome!

About Me

2009-10-21T10:05:00.003-04:00

I've never written one of these here [my Facebook page], which is somewhat surprising to me given my tendency to ramble from the fingers ...

Larry Swank

At home, I am a husband to beautiful, Godly woman. I am father to three wonderful children: my princess, my best buddy, and my little ball of joy. I am Mr. Swank, the principal of FortySixTen Academy, for three glorious hours every weekday morning. I am a guy always looking for a game to play with someone. I play Pokemon, because somewhere just under the surface I still have the joy of remembering how to have fun like a child.

At work, I am a web developer. I am a database architect. I am a I'm a graphic designer. I create things that work the way they're supposed to. I am my own worst critic. I come in when I want and work as long as I want, and my non-existent boss is cool with that. I wear fuzzy slippers, and I work literally a foot from where I sleep.

At church, I am a disciple. I am the bass player. I used to be the audio guy, but I graduated, leaving my wife to be the audio babe. I am the webmaster. I make cakes, which are occasionally well decorated. When necessary, I am manual labor, because skill in labor isn't one of my strengths.

Wherever I go, I am a child of God. I am a disciple of Jesus of Nazareth, fully God and fully man, and I profess my faith in Him as my Lord and Savior. Although I often sin, I have been forgiven and made clean by the blood of the Lamb. I am thankful for the victory of Jesus on the cross.

Dangerous

2009-10-16T10:39:00.005-04:00

DANGEROUS!

Gabe Sapolsky
as Jimmy Bower
Former Ring of Honor broadcaster

Any of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook might have seen me post that phrase a time or two before. Usually, I post it right as I'm about to drive somewhere. It's the equivalent of Boromir blowing his horn before leaving on a long journey to warn the foes of Gondor that he's about. "I'm on the road, so you stay off if you know what's good for you." That sort of thing.

It originates from old DVDs for the indie wrestling promotion Ring of Honor. The Booker, Gabe Sapolsky, played a character named Jimmy Bower, one of the announcers in the fed's early days. When something especially dangerous would happen - a head drop suplex, a stupid dive through a table, or so on - Bower would belt out with his trademark call of "Dangerous!" It was always my favorite part of any show; partly because something ridiculous was guaranteed to have just happened, but partly because I really like the call. It resonated with me.

I read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge this past week. If you've never read it and are either a man trying to understand yourself better or a woman trying to understand men better, I recommend picking it up, as it's an excellent read. Eldredge talks about what's at the heart of a man - what God has programmed into us from the beginning of His creation - and spends a lot of time pointing out that men are inherently dangerous creatures. We like doing dangerous, adventurous things. We're all, deep down, Likes to Fight Guy.

This has been a remarkable eye opener for me. Three and a half years ago, I made the most dangerous decision of my life. I left a job that gave me a steady (if somewhat meager) paycheck to jump into the wild unknown of entrepreneurship. God blessed that greatly almost immediately, giving me an amazing client I still have the privilege of working with to this day, and has continued to bless that boldness.

Somewhere along the line, though, I lost that. I lost the desire to take risks. I got complacent in my success. I forgot that what made me successful in the first place was the blessing that God gave me for trusting Him and walking forward boldly in that trust.

I'm trying to recapture that now. I'm trying to find the adventurous spirit that He put in me that enabled me to be an entrepreneur in the first place. More importantly, I'm trying to find the path he wants me to walk down in my business now. I'm sure it's going to be risky, but that's the point sometimes. If everything is safe, we can't trust Him.

"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."
- 2 Timothy 1:7 (NASB)

Aunt Bethany Should Say Grace

2009-09-30T16:09:00.005-04:00

Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.

They want you to say grace. The blessing!

Mae Questel as Aunt Bethany
and William Hickey as Uncle Lewis
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (2009)

I spent the past weekend at a campground in Clay City, working as a volunteer at a Walk to Emmaus Christian retreat. If you have never been on one - and there are Emmaus communities in every state so your location is no excuse - I highly recommend that you go. They're among the most enlightening and enriching spiritual experiences I can imagine having here on this earth.

Getting to work at the Walk, though, that was something different. It rained on us all weekend, for starters, so I spent the weekend walking around in the mud. I was on my feet more than someone clocking in at 232 pound at my height probably should be for the four days. I was routinely one of the last people on the campground to go to bed and one of the first to get up. The first day, it rained so hard as we got set up that I had to change all of my clothes, as they'd all been soaked through. The cinder block cabin I stayed in was, from all appearances, the birthing place of all spiders.

And I would not change any of it. It was, with no exaggeration, the most spiritually fulfilling thing that I've ever done.

I was privileged to spend those days in the company of thirty-three guys seeking to have a deeper walk with their Lord. I was able to serve them in whatever capacity I was needed, and got to see them change from their arrival on Thursday to their departure on Sunday. And, true to His form, God found plenty of time to work in me while He was doing His thing with the acutal Pilgrims. I spent the weekend surrounded by love and filled with the Holy Spirit, and got to expend every ounce of myself in service to my Lord and my fellow man. I honestly don't know how it could get any better than that.

I was unsure what to expect going in. I didn't think it would be nearly as enriching as actually experiencing the walk as a pilgrim was. It turned out to be even more enriching and more meaningful for me, though, which is one of God's little miracles considering how fantastic an experience it was the first time.

Alright, enough gushing. Go to a Walk if you've never been. Work one if you have. The experiences will change your life.

Friday

2009-09-18T14:58:00.005-04:00

In a loud voice they sang:
   "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
   to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
   and honor and glory and praise!"

Revelation 5:12 (NIV)

It has been a crazy week. I spent the week sick, but then had to stop being sick when Holli got sick (becuase only one parent can be sick at a time). While still partly sick, I walked around the church's neighborhood on Wednesday, met some of the awesome people in the community we've moved into, and invited them to our block party on Sunday. I busted my tail yesterday at work trying to catch up on what I missed, still not fully well but well enough to sit up, work, and cough occasionally. Today I went to WVIHOP for my weekly set there, and now I'm trying to plow through some more work. Did I mention I started writing songs this week, too?

Yeah, it's been kind of nuts. I don't normally look forward to the end of the workweek like the rest of humanity does, because my days just kind of run together. From where I work, I could make it to my bed and take a nap without the use of my legs. It sort of makes the concept of "going to work" as opposed to "staying home" obsolete, so the weekend just happens to be the part of the week where I don't work, not the part where I don't have a boss yelling at me. I've got more time for the Lord and more time for my family, but it's not like those days are unrecognizable from the rest of the week.

This week, though, I need the rest. I'm pretty much just worn out from the sickness and the post sickness scrambling to catch up, and I need to just relax. I look forward to my Sabbath starting in a few hours.

What's keeping me going right now? Number one, Holli's grooming me, which is awesome. Number two, we sang Revelation Song - my absolute favorite song right now - for like thirty minutes during the set at WVIHOP this morning. Those two things are powering me through the day right now.

Blargh. See y'all next week.

Justice in 140 Characters or Less

2009-09-11T08:40:00.002-04:00

That must be weird. Talking about that with a policeman on Twitter.

Brianna Swank

Yesterday, I was going to Wendy's with Holli and Connor for dinner. Holli was driving, because I hate driving and avoid it whenever possible whereas she loves it, so that works for us. We pulled up to a stop light right in front of Honey Creek Mall, where US 41 northbound gets funneled into one lane because of construction, and traffic just stopped. People were inching forward into the intersection, cutting other people off. Those people were in turn then breaking as many traffic laws as possible to wedge between cars and get to their destinations. We sat, with zero exaggeration on my part, for more than fifteen minutes at this light, which is dumb. While we were sitting, of course, we saw a sheriff pull through on his way to get somewhere instead of doing something about the mess.

So I tweeted about it. It's kind of my thing. This morning, when going through Tweetdeck as part of my daily routine, I got a response back from an actual law enforcement officer informing me that it was THPD jurisdiction, not the county's.

I vacillated back and forth on whether or not this was awesome or Big Brother style scary, and I think I'm settled on awesome. The possibilities here are kind of mind boggling, actually. Could Twitter replace 911 in my never-ending request to destroy landlines and run Verizon out of business? Seriously. Think about this:

Just got into a wreck. GPS coords in profile. Send officer, please. #THPD

That is pure, unfiltered awesomeness, my friends. Especially with the total lack of social filter and common sense that so many people have on the internet. Because for every handful of polite tweets like that one we'd have requesting help from our neo-911 system, we'd have one like this.

Just smashed a car and punched the guy. I'm drunk. GPS on tweet. Send cop, idiots. #THPDsucks

Watching more deserving people go to jail for being rude and speaking their mind without the imminent threat of a police officer in their faces would make me happy. And can you imagine an episode of Cops? "We're responding to a tweet in town. Woman said her husband was threatening to pwnz0r her like a n00b." Priceless.

My New Office

2009-09-09T14:26:00.002-04:00

I hate your bookshelf.

Holli Swank

I moved some furniture last night. Took a bookshelf out of Connor's bedroom that was housing toys and replaced it with some plastic tubs that serve the same purpose. Then I put that bookshelf, which was a little old and ratty, and put it in our back hallway. It replaced a second, nicer, and somewhat smaller bookshelf, which was just the right size to move into our bedroom. It now houses most of my junk in our bedroom, leaving our other bookshelf back here for Holli's stuff.

I love it, of course, because I've got a place for my stuff which satisfies the part of my brain that craves orderliness. It's also allowed me to reclaim desk space, something I greatly desired. Getting a bunch of my gaming junk off of the desk, where it formerly resided because I had nowhere else for it, has given me tons more breathing room here. It's making working much more enjoyable.

The most unexpected and, quite possibly, most awesome benefit of it, though, is that it's basically given me a little cubicle area to work in. It's fantastic. I can't explain why I love it so much, but I am absolutely enthralled by it. Boxing myself in is, apparently, full of win.

Labor Day

2009-09-07T09:57:00.003-04:00

La-bor (n) 1. productive activity, esp. for the sake of economic gain.

Dictionary.com: Labor

In the United States, today is Labor Day. It's the most poorly named holiday in existence. Today is not for labor. Today is, in fact, a way for most people to get out of their labors. I don't understand it, quite frankly.

Nevertheless, when in Rome, do as the Romans do, so despite my boss - vis a vis, me - not insisting that the office be closed, I'm still not working today. So, I'll find something to do - play some guitar, play some Wii with the kids, maybe work on some terrain pieces for use at Scott's house when we play AT-43.

So, happy Misnamed Holiday Day, everyone!

Makin' Tiles

2009-09-04T08:22:00.004-04:00

It will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

Mike Myers
as Wayne Campbell
Wayne's World (1992)

Last night, I went over to my friend Scott's house for our weekly game night. We get together with a couple of other friends once a week, bust out our tiny plastic replicas of giant robots, and blow the snot out of one another's armies. I've largely given up video games and I don't watch TV, so this - along with my guitar - comprises most of my recreation.

Circumstances had it down to just me and Scott last night, so rather than play, we decided to be productive. Scott and another friend of ours had printed up a bunch of awesome paper tiles that you use to make terrain to play on - roads and cityscapes and that sort of thing. And the plan was for Scott to take those tiles and glue them to a bunch of foamcore into intricate patterns so we could have a set of five or six fixed boards that we could mix and match two of at a time to make our play area.

As he was doing this, though, my mind got to working (as it often does) and I wondered why we didn't take the little 7x7 tiles and cut them out individually so the whole thing was much more modular and flexible. I was informed it was because many people said they got jostled and knocked out of place easily. I replied by noting that if we just put down some sort of rail or framework, it's not really going to move. Scott took a few minutes to evaluate things, and then in short order we got to cutting. After a productive three-hours session, we had a mountain of tiles to work with, and were subsequently able to lay out a 3' x 6' board of interconnecting roads, railways, and black tiles representing buildings we have yet to construct. For a wargaming geek like myself, it was, how you say?, awesome.

I play with Connor here occasionally at home. I showed him the picture I took of what we did, and after he realized what had happened, his eyes bugged out and he got excited. I'm pretty well mandated to build some tiles to use here at the house now. It'll be a fun craft for Connor and I to work on after school together, and when it's finished, it'll be awesome. I even plan to build a little board for them with a wooden lip around the whole thing to hold them in. Varnish it really nice and have it look like a good piece of furniture, that sort of thing. Could be fun.

Nine Years Later ...

2009-09-02T11:59:00.005-04:00

Now that the fight has started, try not to get hit.

Expert Advice on Topics I Know Nothing About: Boxing
larrysexpertavice.blogspot.com

While Holli was in the hospital after giving birth to Brianna, I had an idea to write a book. The book would be full of advice on things I had no business giving advice on. The idea seemed hilarious to me at the time, and so I vowed to one day do it.

Today is that day. Well, kinda. I mean, it's not a book, but it's a blog, and blogs are the new books! I should stop typing. Just go visit the blog, please:

Expert Advice on Topics I Know Nothing About

Modern Day Idolatry

2009-08-31T14:27:00.005-04:00

"I have seen these people," the LORD said to Moses, "and they are a stiff-necked people. Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them. Then I will make you into a great nation."

Exodus 32:9-10 (NIV)

Last night during Eric's message at HealingPointe, he challenged each of us to pray and ask God to help us take stock in our lives and find the idols that we've erected for ourselves to serve as our substitutes to him. Now, I don't have an Ashera pole in my backyard or secret altars in walk-in closets, but I'm not without my own idols. Modern day idolatry is subtle.

The Lord has been dealing with me today as the day's gone on, unveiling one after another to me. He was nice enough not to overwhelm me with the truth all at once, because He knows what I'm capable of handling, but I get the feeling that by the end of the day I'll be feeling pretty bad about myself once He's done with me. I look forward to that. Not because I want to feel bad, mind you, because none of us do; rather, I look forward to the opportunity to better myself that it presents.

One after another, God's shown me things today that I feel like I need to be happy and fulfilled. Things that I run to instead of Him when I'm distressed. Things that if I were to go without for a day, I'd be troubled; a week, and I'd be inconsolable. None of these things were Him, and yet He should be the only thing that fits those descriptors.

Lord, please help me this day to realize what it truly means to worship you and tear down the idols I've built up in my life. In Jesus' name, amen.

Augmented Reality Gaming

2009-08-27T09:40:00.002-04:00

Augmented reality (AR) is a term for a live direct or indirect view of a real-world environment whose elements are supplemented with-, or augmented by computer-generated imagery. The augmentation is conventionally in real-time and in meaningful context with environmental elements.

Wikipedia: Augmented reality

I've been fascinated with the concept of Augmented Reality games (which for the sake of my fingers I will from here on out refer to as AR) for quite some time now. Now, my fascination isn't limited to the Wikipedia definition above, although that's a good start, but rather with games that, in some way, let you interact with the environment of the world around you.

My fascination with the whole concept started with a game called Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops. It's a Metal Gear game, which means that it was awesome. You played Snake, complete with awesome battle mullet, and snuck around places you weren't supposed to be to save the world. The new twist they introduced, though, is that you could use an infiltration team of up to four people for each mission, using soldiers that you captured and converted to your side in the course of your missions. You trained the soldiers, gave them upgraded abilities, and armed them to suit their talents and the mission. It was like Pokemon with guns.

The best part of the game had nothing to do with tactical espionage action, however. The best part of the game was recruiting new soldiers via something they called "RF scanning." You put the game into scanning mode, and if there was a wifi signal nearby, a little radar started to ping. You hammered down on circle button, and eventually you pounded it enough to get a bar above a line and were gifted with a soldier. The soldier was unique based off of the individual router, with some routers giving good soldiers and some routers giving unbelievably bad soldiers. I would take my PSP with us when we'd travel pretty much anywhere and scan as we drove down the roads, cackling with glee as I retrieved soldier after soldier. I'd do it walking around in Walmart or the mall. It was fantastic.

Next came a PS3 game called The Eye of Judgement, which was a true AR game. It was, at heart, a money-sucking collectable card game, except it was awesome. You took your deck of cards and played the game like you would any other card game, except you put the cards under the special Sony camera, it read some characters off of it, and it brought the card to life on the screen with awesome computer graphics. You're just playing a card game like any other that wasn't really outstanding in any way in its gameplay, but when you have CG giants slugging it out against CG dragons because you put down a little card, the gameplay doesn't entirely matter.

Even one of my new favorite pastimes, Geocaching, is essentially a form of AR game. It's basically hiking at which you can win. You find a GPS point nearby where someone has hidden a treature and set off on an adventure to it. You use your game device, a hand-held GPS of some variety in this case, to navigate your way to the GPS point and find the hidden treasure. It takes the ordinary and adds a gameplay element to it, which is awesome.

The last few months, video games have largely fallen off of my radar, the sole exception being iPhone games that I can play in five-minute bursts once or twice a day. The concept of AR games still fascinates and intrigues me. I tried a game called Parallel Kingdom for the iPhone that tried to be an MMORPG based on your actual physical location in the world. The idea got me all jazzed up, even if the gameplay seemed a little lacking. There's another offering on my phone called Seek N' Spell, where you find a field and the screen puts a bunch of virtual letters over your GPS location. You then get five minutes to run around to the location of the letters to "pick them up" and then try to build the best words you can in a mashup of Scrabble and, you know, running around. It's fantastic. These are the kinds of games that still manage to fascinate and intrigue me.

Sony has a new game coming out in this genre called Invismals. It's their answer to Pokemon, in that you collect adorable little animals to make them fight against other adorable little animals. The trick, though, is that you find the adorable little animals for your virtual cockfighting exhibitions by slapping a camera on your PSP and running around and exploring the world - apparently, certain color and texture combinations on the camera trigger different Invisimals in the software. That's freaking amazing.

The iPhone has a camera, GPS, and internet access built into every single new unit that's getting sold. It has the simplest, most intuitive interface on the planet, operating almost completely by touch. It's a device that's almost omnipresent with people who own them, because it's their phone. The fact that there aren't more good AR games leveraging the iPhone is almost criminal.

Mental Ambidexterity

2009-08-19T15:04:00.003-04:00

Why are you smiling?

Because I know something you don't know.

And what is that?

I am not left-handed.

Cary Elwes
as Westley
and Mandy Patinkin
as Inigo Montoya
The Princess Bride (1987)

I fence with my left hand. Not for reasons similar to Inigo's, in that I'm far too good a swordsman to have a competitive match if I don't use my off hand. Quite the opposite, in fact. See, I'm a robust individual, and when I turn to the profile and get into the fencing stance, I present quite a large, inviting target. Also, at five-foot-eleven, I'm not a short man, but I'm also not graced with the natural size most of your dominant fencers have. So, when I learned the noble sport, I took up the only advantage I could: I learned to fence with my left hand, which throws most fencers, who are used to the vast majority of their opponents fencing with their right hand, somewhat off-kilter.

But I am not left-handed.

I do most things with my right hand. I write with my right hand. I eat with my right hand. I throw a baseball with my right hand. I shoot a basketball with my right hand. But when I decided to learn to fence, I decided to do it with my left hand to take whatever advantage I could to cover up for my natural lack of athleticism. The beauty of it is that it worked; to watch me fence, you could never tell that I wasn't a lefty in everything I do.

I wouldn't call myself ambidextrous, though. Why, do you ask? Because I can only do things with one hand or the other, not with both. I'm a horrible fencer with my right hand. My handwriting from my left hand looks like it came from a five-week old chimpanzee with brain damage. In fact, there's only one thing that I can do with some level of success with both hands - hit a baseball - and even then, I'm not doing the same things with both hands; I hit for more power as a righty, but I have better coordination as a lefty. So I wouldn't call myself ambidextrous physically.

I would go so far as to say that I'm mentally ambidextrous, though. What does that mean? It means that, in general, I use both sides of my brain equally well. Most people are either your right-brained, artsy types or your left-brained, logical types. I happen to be both. Yes, I'm a programmer by trade, but I'm an art-house, black turtleneck, coffee drinking kind of programmer. I want my code to be elegant, not just functional. As a web developer, I can't just get by on programming, either, because there is an artistic component required of my job. I think that's why I like my job so much: I get to actively use both halves of my brain on a regular basis, and I can't think of too many other jobs like that in the world.

As I've learned more about music, I've discovered that to be why I like music so much, too. Yes, it's obviously a very artistic pursuit. It's also a very logical, system-governed thing, too. I can certainly imagine someone being a good musician without being good at math, but I think having a strong foundation in math and logic makes the pursuit of music theory to be significantly easier for someone. It's the one way in which I can express myself that stimulates both sides of my brain, and I think that's what makes it so appealing to me.

My other favorite hobby? Miniature wargaming. Yeah, I know, I'm a dork. But, it's also similar in that it allows me to stimulate both sides of the brain, albeit at different times. The games themselves require logic, concentration, and tactical thought. In preparation for the games, though, you get to paint tiny little figures. Again, it's a hobby that lets me flex both halves of my mental muscles, and it appeals to me.

Where music surpasses any other pursuit I've ever been a part of, though, is that it lets me do both simultaneously. I'm keeping time, anticipating chord changes and patterns, and all the while making something pretty. What's better than that for a both-brainer?

Field Marshal Connor

2009-08-17T19:13:00.000-04:00

Is that for them to take cover behind?

Connor Swank

I picked up a new game for Connor and I to play. You move around giant robots, squash infantry types, and blow stuff up. It will also be a great teaching aid in teaching him measurements, negative numbers, and multiplication. It's funducation, a concept of which I am a huge fan.

On Friday, I sat down to teach him the rules. First game we kept it simple and had one giant robot each to blow each other up with. We played again, and this time I dropped a big metal box (all terms relative, of course) on the game board that the robots can use for cover while firing. He immediately looked at it and said, "What's that for? Is that for them to take cover behind?" Well, so much for that lesson. I was, however, impressed by my son's innate grasp of tactics.

The game progressed, and I managed to get my giant robot to cover first. Connor then got to the other side of it and we traded one volley of fire. The very next time he had the chance to move, I was going to explain that it might be advantageous for him to actually walk around the cover and shoot at me without the cover protecting me. Being my son, though, that was not necessary. Before I could even start that discussion, he asked if he could move around the box and blast me.

I'm only going to be able to beat him at games for another year or two, tops.

Michael Stackpole Is an Awesome Human Being

2009-08-15T18:48:00.004-04:00

Have you looked at 25 Years yet? I haven't seen it yet.

Michael Stackpole
directly to me

If you're not a fan of science fiction, you might not have any idea who Michael Stackpole is. To save you the thirty seconds it would take you to do a Wikipedia search, he's an author and game designer. He's probably best known for his work on Star Wars novels, but he's been far more prolific as an author in my beloved Battletech universe. I read my first Stackpole novel when I was twelve years old, and have been reading Stackpole books ever since.

Why does all of this matter? Because I met him on Thursday, it was awesome, and you're reading my blog.

So anyway, I went to GenCon (the biggest dork convention west of the Mississippi) in Indianapolis on Thursday. I spent the day with some friends, checking out some gaming stuff, and generally having a good time. One of the things I intended to do while I was there was visit the Catalyst Game Labs booth, home of the guys who are currently running Battletech, and see if I could get some of them to sign my copy of their core rulebook. As I'm wandering around the booth, two guys with exhibitor badges walk by, and as they were pausing for one of the pair to quip sarcastically about how "subtle" their floor space was, I got a look at the names on the badges. The duo consisted of Loren Coleman, the owner of Catalyst, and Michael Stackpole himself.

The two left the exhibitor hall, and after a few seconds of internal debate, I set off after them. Turns out they were just going to a line that the exhibitors had to wait in to get something. I ambled up to the line, bothered them for their time, then shook their hands for, respectively, resurrecting my favorite board game and for writing so many great books. Then I went about my business for a few seconds before I remembered I wanted autographs. I got into my backpack, got out my sliver Sharpie, and headed back. I apologized profusely for bothering them again and asked them for an autograph, and they happily obliged (although they were a little stunned that I asked them to just sign right on the front cover).

Autographs obtained and emboldened by Loren's suggestion that I go in and find another of the Battletech bigwigs, Randall Bills, to get his autograph, I headed back into the hall and started acquiring more names on the cover of my book. I get a few more autographs, and while I'm waiting to actually get to Randall, I pass the time by looking at a distance at their new Battletech coffee table book, 25 Years of Art and Fiction. They got some of the seminal authors of the Battletech universe, Stackpole included, to write new stories covering all the years of Battletech history and commissioned a bunch of new art. It's a fantastic looking book.

While I'm waiting, Stackpole comes up next to me looking at the same book, and I thank him for his time earlier. We start talking, I explain how I've been reading his work since before my voice started changing, and he proved to be a genuinely cool, nice guy. He had no reason to talk to me, but still spent his time yapping with me like we were old friends.

Then he dropped the hammer. He said to me, "Have you seen 25 Years yet? I haven't seen it yet." I responded in the negative, not having seen the innards of the book yet. So, being Michael Stackpole, he just kind of barreled through the line that was in our way, grabbed a copy of the book off of the stand, and brought it back to me. He opened it up and we started flipping through it like I'd do with another fan. We sat there for a good ten minutes gawking at the pictures they'd collected, talking about our history with a game that we both obviously love, then they get to his story, which is about Devlin Stone, the lead protagonist of the current Battletech storyline.

Then he dropped the hammer again. He started talking about how he got into the project kind of late, and they were letting people pick their stories from a list they wanted to be in there. So a lot of the stories were gone when he picked, but the story about Stone was still avaialble. He said the best he could figure is that nobody wanted to take a crack at writing about Stone because he was so important. Then Stackpole noted that since he created Stone in the first place, he was happy to do it, and signed up for the story. We flipped through his piece - the first time he'd seen his story in print, mind you - and gawked at the art they added. He then told me he was going to go tell Loren he was stealing that copy and excused himself.

I have heard a maxim lately that I actually find to be one that's very true: "Never meet your heroes." The idea behind it, of course, being that they usually disappoint you because they're usually jerks. Being that I've been reading Michael Stackpole books for two decades now and plan on reading them for as long as he writes new ones, he's probably as much of a hero as I have. He did not disappoint. Not only was he totally accommodating and nice to a fan, but he actually proved to just be a nice, cool guy and bothered to spend some time with and share some anecdotes with me. It was by far the best celebrity experience I've ever had.

Because He's God

2009-08-14T11:28:00.003-04:00

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

A quick addendum to yesterday's rambling post that was spawned by the Myers-Briggs test. If you'll remember (or scroll down), I was scored an ENFP - Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. Holli, my beautiful wife, took the same test on the same day and was scored an ISTJ - Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging.

Yes. Completely opposite personalities according to the test, and yet less than a month ago marked our tenth wedding anniversary. Holli noted that perhaps opposites do, in fact, attract. I prefer to think that the Almighty knew very precisely what each of us was lacking and never meant for either of us to live life without the other.

Between the two of us, we make one pretty good person. I give her spontanaety, she gives me structure. I give her complex logical thought, she gives me common sense. I know how to handle the numbers that aren't prefaced by dollar signs, which she in turn knows how to handle. We are each even the most comfortable teaching the subjects that the other wouldn't be all that good at. We are truly one flesh, and I am thankful to have such a great partner.

I love you, Holli.

Because I'm Larry

2009-08-13T06:23:00.002-04:00

Why don't you blog anymore?

Holli Swank

Yeah, I know. I keep blathering on and on about how I need to be more regimented in this, but nothing ever comes of it. Discipline, even with the little stuff like this, is one of the hardest things for me to come by.

I'm made a certain way. I took a Myers-Briggs personality test yesterday, and it scored me as an ENFP: extroverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceiving. Every time I ever take this test I score it either as an ENFP or an INFP, depending on the day. The difference between extroversion and introversion for me is almost always minimal to the point of being non-existent, though: I want to be around people, but I don't need to be around people. It's a subtle but important difference.

Fortunately, the Kiersey Temperament Sorter is a simple tool that's broken down with introversion and extroversion at the end of its scale. Type NFP people are called Advocates by the Kiersey Temperament Sorter. That Advocate itself is a subset of the Idealists, who are in turn a subset of the Introspectives, the first division of personalities as based on the scale. Advocates. Depending again on the day of the test, there's one last division on whether I'm feeling expressive and extroverted or reserved and introverted. The former puts me into the final classification of Champion, as I was scored yesterday, and the latter has me as a Healer, which is how I was slotted the last time I took one of these.

Champion. Healer. Those are great words. Someone who picks up the cause for another and tries to change things for the better. Someone who tries to heal the hurts of the world and those around him. What's wrong with that, right? That's awesome.

Yet despite the awesome way in which God made me, I used the very first paragraph of this post to bemoan my lack of discipline.

I can go through the Myers-Briggs test, look at the questions, and pick out a cornucopia of things I dislike about myself. I'm disorganized. I'm flighty. I'm a starter, not necessarily a finisher. I'm undiciplined. It's hard for me to focus. I can't even remember to write a simple blog post every few days.

And yet, that same test would tell you that all of those things are side effects of the unique qualities that God knit into me in the womb. And it's because of those unique qualities - the very ENFP-itude of Larry - that Kiersey's scale would classify me as a "Champion." Kiersey described Champions as follows:

"Champions delight in novelty. They are optimistic, enthusiastic, and vivacious, craving expressions of strong emotion. With a dramatic flair, they share their experiences with others, hoping to reveal some universal truth or win others over in support of a cause. Attuned to possibilities, Champions scan their environment, probing the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. This sensitivity sometimes conflicts with their intense drive for personal authenticity. Spontaneous and personable, they attract others to their company."

None of that sounds bad in any way, and honestly, I think most people that know me would suggest that's a reasonable description of me. I have such a hard time seeing the good in it, though, saying that if I could just be a little less flighty, a little more focused, I could be better. Would I really be better, though, or would I just not be Larry anymore? And if I worked to change the very "flaws" that make me expressive, sensitive, optimistic and enthusiastic, would I just be shaking my fist at the Lord and suggesting that maybe He didn't make me quite right?

I've struggled with self-confidence all my life. I've always wanted to be something different than I was. As I age, though, I'm starting to understand that self-confidence doesn't come from becoming something else. It comes from being happy with how God made me and refining, not changing, what I am. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find something to Champion.

The Microphone Explodes

2009-07-21T15:47:00.003-04:00

The microphone explodes
Shattering the molds

Rage Against the Machine
"Bulls on Parade"
Evil Empire (1996)

Wow. Apparently Evil Empire is thirteen years old. Doesn't matter; it still rocks harder than most of the stuff that's getting spewed out these days. I'm getting distracted, though.

My biggest client is gone for the rest of this week, off to attend a conference in Bermuda. Since a big chunk of my time is usually spent taking care of what he needs, in his absence I've got a void to fill. I'm thankful for it, because I have a lot of stuff to fill the void with. We'll be getting back to homeschooling as we start our second school year at the beginning of August, so Holli and I need to finish preperations. Likewise, I need to make sure I'm fully caught up on work and sleep before we do so, because it's hard to catch up on either once school starts back up again.

With that in mind, I've got a big slate of work-related tasks to catch up on this week. I've got a couple of small projects still outstanding that I want to get nailed down. I've also got some internal projects I'd like to get finished, too, including my third new website that I'm just dying to get out there. Finally, I've got some little business-related odds and ends ot tidy up while I'm at things.

Wish me luck!

Fortunately, It Is Impossible to Rock Out Too Hard for God

2009-07-10T15:45:00.005-04:00

God of wonders beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
The universe declares Your majesty
You are holy, holy

Steve Hindalong and Marc Byrd
"God of Wonders"
New Song Cafe, Vol. 1 (2003)

It's Friday, so it was my turn to be "on the wall" with Marvin's Friday morning team at WVIHOP doing our Harp and Bowl set. Things didn't start off well this morning, as some personal nonsense had me get there about twenty minutes after I normally do and had me in kind of a sour mood. They continued to go poorly in their start, as we struggled for about ten minutes to figure out why my guitar wasn't making sound through the loudspeakers only to realize I had my volume turned all the way down. Fortunately, though, that was rock bottom.

I had so much fun out there today. We started off with God of Wonders, which is a song that I've practiced for quite some time alone here at home, and I'm pretty comfortable with. We also did Mighty to Save in our opening three worship songs, another song that I'm really pretty decent with. The net result is that, despite my mood coming in and my fumbling with my stupidity about amplifiers, I settled in and got pretty comfortable with my playing.

While I was there, the Holy Spirit did some work in me. He dropped a couple of verses onto my heart that ultimately had a huge impact on dealing with my issues from the morning later in the day. More importantly, though, the Spirit lifted the burden from me, and I was able to throw myself into worshipping God through my guitar rather than worrying about life. So now I'm not only comfortable with my guitar playing, but the Spirit has liberated me. This is like a firestorm of things for Larry to embarass himself.

We got towards the end of the set and had our rapid-fire prayer time, and the rabbi from the Messianic Jewish community here in town gave the last prayer. I don't know his name, and unfortunately, he left before I had a chance to talk to him, but he's an awesome man of God and that really comes through in his prayers. Today was no exception, and he took a room full of people who were already fired up for God and just lit a fuse among us. The worship team followed his lead, and Marvin led us through a simle G-C chord progression (although I was taking the liberty of playing Cadd9 because my hand hurt) whlie we sang this chorus:

When the enemy comes in like a flood
The Lord will raise up a standard

Everyone was clapping and stomping. So I'm confident in my guitar playing so far for the day, the Spirit has freed me, and now I'm all fired up for God. So I start absolutely hammering the strings on my guitar, bouncing back and forth in my chair, and actually singing at the top of my lungs along with the chorus (an amazing thing for me becuase I cannot play and sing at the same time usually). It was righteous - the room was just filled with the presence of God, I was worshipping the Lord, my family was there to share it with me, and I had more fun than I'd had in ages. That, my friends, is living.

So Did I, Emums

2009-07-03T08:33:00.003-04:00

I tooted.

Erin Swank
Last night, while our guests were still here

We had the Sabelhaus family over for dinner last night in a bartering of services; we made dinner for everyone, and Frank taught me how to change brake pads on the van. It was an awesome time. We really enjoyed hanging out with the Sabelhaus clan, the kids all seemed to have fun, and I learned a new skill. Nothing wrong with that.

Changing the brake pads was much easier than I thought it would be. I expected it to be a big production, but you just take off the tire, take off the brake, and there they are. It was almost a little disappointing; I expected to have to kill a gremlin or something to be able to get to the pads. I was impressed with the engineering of the van, though; it is solidly built. I suppose that makes sense, though, seeing as how it weighs thousands of pounds and rolls down asphalt at high speeds. It would need to be solid to handle those sorts of stressors.

For dinner, we had Holli's Famous Spaghetti Sauce, some stuff to dump it on, and the associated breads and salads. The sauce was the star of the show. It's very sweet, but it's got a lot of spicy kick to it. Bobby Flay would approve. It also has the unfortunate side effect of making me fart - frequently and loudly - and last night was no exception. I actually woke myself up with a couple of them last night, so I can't imagine how bad it was for Holli.

That's right. Potty humor in my blog. If you're shocked by this, you obviously don't know me that well.

Meteorology Stinks. Music Does Not.

2009-07-02T12:53:00.003-04:00

We're always playing with the weather prediction algorithm in an effort to make it more accurate and do away with meteorology once and for all.

www.RandomForecast.com

One night, Holli and I were sitting around and she had the idea that I should put up a site that randomly generated a weather forecast. I loved the idea and went to work on it right away. Holli's brainchild has finally been born, and you can witness the fruits of her ingenuity and my labor at www.RandomForecast.com.

I like weathermen. I really do. They're my favorite of the newscasters, because they, more than anyone else giving us the news, seem to actually care about and enjoy what they do. Sports guys occasionally get close, but the weathermen are so consistently happy about their jobs, it's hard not to like it. And don't even get me started on Jim Cantore. He's like Superman in a rain poncho.

So I like weathermen. Weatherwomen are cool, too. It's just that the science of their chosen field leaves a little to be desired if I can, with a moderate amount of accuracy, randomly generate a forecast. That's all I'm saying.

Tomorrow's going to be a musical day for me. I'll get up and make my way over to the WVIHOP to play guitar again, which is fantastic. I've been looking forward to this for two weeks. Then later that day, Holli and I will go out and have our anniversary dinner - a little early, but that's okay - before heading up to Indianapolis to see Casting Crowns play live! Woot! That is so awesome I can't even put it into words. I love me some Casting Crowns.

Alright, that's enough yapping. I've got to go work on some Flash.

Me Fail Blogging?

2009-06-22T13:45:00.004-04:00

That's unpossible!

Nancy Cartwright
as Ralph Wiggum
"Lisa on Ice"
The Simpsons (2004)

I didn't think it'd been that long No big deal, though, because it gives me plenty to yap about here. Let's dive right in!

HealingPointe had our first service in our new church building last night! This is huge for us. It's the first time we've been in a building that's been ours rather than some place that we rented. We're looking forward to getting everything spruced up; Holli went over to help out today, and I'm going over to shovel dirt tonight. We're also really excited about getting oursevles involved with the community that we've moved into. It'll be nice to actually have neighbors instead of being in a strip all.

Father's Day was yesterday, too, and as usual, my family did not disappoint. I got breakfast in the bedroom (my back hurt too bad for me to still be in bed), awesome hand-made cards from the kids, and a cool new shirt. Then before church I had steak for dinner. That's about all I could ever ask for for my holiday.

Going back to Friday, I started playing guitar at WVIHOP during one of their Harp and Bowl services. I'll be playing with Marvin's team every Friday at 10 AM. Marvin told me that he was pleased and "heard no major train wrecks," so I guess I did alright. I've been practicing the songs that we did on Friday and learning some of the chords that gave me fits (I'm looking at you, C sharp minor!). I'm doing very good with my B chord, except I'm kind of flipping off anyone looking at me when I play it. I've got to try to fix that. Frank gave me a couple of tips on it last night, though, so that should help.

That's enough for now. There's still a ton to get done today. That's a decent recap, though. I'll see if I can't be back tomorrow to talk about my love-hate relationship with pickles or something.

The Rich Jerk

2009-06-12T16:03:00.003-04:00

What do you think about The Rich Jerk program?

www.truthininternetmarketing.com

Well, I'll tell you if you go to my site. I do like the product, I'll say that much here. If you want more, though, go read the review.

I really like writing these posts. Well, I take that back. Writing these posts is really easy. I always feel a little slimy after I write them, like I need a shower or two, but I get over it. It's easy, though, beacuse they're easier than any other post I write to come up with the quote for. I'd abandon that convention if it wasn't absolutely ingrained in my writing style at this point. To not do it, though, would just feel wrong.

I Have Returned

2009-06-12T09:27:00.002-04:00

Go back to then.
When?
Now.
Now?
Now.
I can't.
Why?
We missed it.
When?
Just now.

Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet
and George Wynur as Colonel Sandurz
Spaceballs (1987)

I'm back in the office this morning after a brief, unexpected absence of two days. I had the opportunity to spend a little more time with God and my family than normal, and that has been a very good thing. I'm back to things today a little bit behind, but a whole lot more focused, so we'll see how everything works out.

We're still trying to figure out how to make life work here. We've got a lot going on for the Swanks between homeschooling and having me work at home. That's to say nothing of actual family time. Or church. Or parent time. Or time for housework. Or time for recreation. I'm still struggling with there not being enough time for everything I want and need to get done in my average day, but that will get easier as I continue to get this whole time management thing down.

Part of the trick is making sure that there's time in the day for me to do whatever I want. We do the same thing with money already; I get a small allowance every month which is basically for me to blow on whatever, and having that allowance keeps me from blowing money out of the general fund. If I want something I can't afford, I have to wait until I've saved enough for it. It works for me. I'm going to try doing that with time, too, and make sure I have a designated time during the day that's just for me and my hobbies, which should make it easier to keep that time from creeping into everything else.

Yeah, that's enough rambling for today. See y'all later today when I shill my sites again. Yeah, I'm shameless.

2009-06-09T12:54:00.004-04:00

If I can be serious for a moment ...

Lance Storm

I love my job. I honestly do. I'm pretty sure that I have, as far as secular jobs go, the best job in the world. I work whenever I want, pretty much wherever I want, and my boss is nonexistent. The job could not be more perfect for the kind of person that God created when he formed me.

The last few weeks, though, something has been lacking. I've sat down to work, at whatever time work happened to roll around for the day, and I've felt ... off. The cynic in me would suggest that it's because I've been working the same job for three years, therefore making it time for me to find a new job to maintain the natural order of things, and I thought for a while that maybe that was it. It's not like I've never gotten bored with a job before. It just didn't fit, though; I wasn't bored, I was depressed when I sat down in front of the keyboard.

Fast forward with me from where we were a little to the weekend that just passed, and I'll run things down for you. Friday night, Holli and I went to the WVIHOP. We sat next to our good friend Marvin for about an hour, and the three of us lifted up our voices to the Lord. It was marvelous.

Saturday I got to have my first real Sabbath in ages, since there was no work required of me to help get ready for church (or church for that matter, because we're moving to Sundays), so I spent the day honoring the Lord's day and spending time with the Lord. The only time I left the house was to go back to WVIHOP for Harp and Bowl training, which basically consisted of me learning a little about the structure and then playing some worship music with Marvin. The rest of the day I laid around the house, listened to worship music, and enjoyed my family. It, too, was marvelous.

Sunday, the congregation from HealingPointe - since we're without a building for another couple of weeks - went down south to Pimento to have service with the folks from Father's Glory. It was a great visit, filled with wonderful people and a really awesome spirit to worship. After the service, we all went back to Eric and Amy's place. We hung out for a few hours, ate some great grilled food, and watched the kids play around in the sprinkler in the back while we all talked. It might have been the best day I've had in a long time.

I spent the weekend dwelling in my Father's love. I felt it when I worshipped, I felt it when I played for him, and I felt it in the love of those around me. I was almost overwhelmed by it. Then came yesterday. I sat down at my keyboard, started to work, and my heart just sank. That's when I figured out what's been wrong.

I want that feeling that I had this weekend all the time. I want to be filled with the Spirit constantly. I want to abide in my Father's presence and love throughout this life. I just don't know how to do it yet. I want to spend my days singing to the Lord, praying, loving on my friends, my family, and anyone I can find on the street. I want more.

The rub, though, is that I can't have more; not yet, at least. I have tasks in front of me that I must take care of. Knowing what the alternatives could be, though, makes things somewhat difficult at times.

I oftentimes liken us to children and God to our parent when talking about stuff with Holli, which I think frustrates her, but the analogy is so perfect here. I can picture Holli baking some cookies and the kids come running in because they smell the awesome cookies, and they know how good cookies taste, and it's so cool that there are cookies right there for them to eat soon. Then daddy comes along and tells them that they don't get cookies until they clean their rooms. Their little hearts sink, they stomp back to their rooms, and rather than just buckling down, cleaning it real quick, and then eating cookies, they pout, get nothing done, and end up going to bed without any cookies.

That's me right now. I'm throwing a temper tantrum becuase I can't have my cookies just this minute. I just need to shut up, clean my room, and get ready to enjoy the cookies when I'm done.

Cartoon Feline Wisdom

2009-06-08T13:36:00.003-04:00

I hate Mondays.

Garfield

Another Monday, and another mountain of e-mail awaits me from the weekend. But do not fear, for the sites are still getting updated. There's a new post up on Truth In Internet Marketing about how to get started making money online for those who are interested. Well, I suppose it's more about how not to get started, but it's still good.

There's a lot of other stuff on my mind today, but I've got no idea how to express it. I don't think I've even been able to adequately process it on the inside yet, so I certainly don't have any idea about how to get it out. I've found some things to be inadequate today, or perhaps I've just found them to be inadequate when compared to the alternatives. See? I've got no idea how to express any of this. Maybe tomorrow.

Talkin' Money

2009-06-03T17:52:00.003-04:00

Money
Get away
Get a good job
With good pay
And you're okay

Pink Floyd
"Money"
Dark Side of the Moon (1973)

Today at TruthInInternetMarketing.com, I talk about the actual income potential of Internet marketing. It is, in a word, staggering. I make mention of some of the guys that I've worked with, for, around, whatever in the past, and these guys are rolling in it. They're also some of the hardest working guys I've ever known, though.

I don't want to be rich. I don't want the temptation of having a bunch of money, first off, as I know I'm not ready to handle something like that yet. I also don't want my life to be about the acquisition of wealth, and unfortunately, that's what most people who are rolling in cash have to do to come about it. Yeah, there are plenty of people out there because dead Grampa Robert made his whole life about the acquisition of wealth and they're now reaping the benefits. For the most part, though, people who are wealthy are the people who have actually worked to make themselves wealthy.

I want to take care of my family. I want to make them comfortable. It's just that for my life, I'd rather take the time I could spend working non-stop to try to grab more cash and invest it in my God, my family, and my friends. What good's all the money in the world if you can never really enjoy it? I'm venturing towards preachy territory, though, so I digress.

We did do some work with money around here today. We organized all of our bills up and established a strategy for tackling them and working them down, which is a very good thing. It's going to be a tough road, and one that will require discipline - there's that dirty word again - but it's one that will be worth the walking.

And Now For Something Completely Different!

2009-06-01T17:01:00.004-04:00

...

That's my written interpretation of all you sitting there, reading, mouth agape, because I'm actually blogging and not shilling my stuff.

It's been a hectic past six weeks or so. I went on the Walk to Emmaus, which is a radical, life altering thing. I'd love to actually talk about it, but I honestly can't do it any justice with my meager command of the English language. So, rather than trying and failing to tell you how tremendous it is, I'll just exhort you to go as soon as you get the opportunity. If you know me, come talk to me, as I'd be happy to sponsor you.

I still have iPhone. I've been planning on talking about it for weeks, but it's not really something new anymore, so a little of the luster is off of the subject. I'm now an accomplished iPhone user, though, so I suppose I'm a little more of an authority on it now. Whatever. Here's what you need to know: it's freaking awesome. iPhone (it insists in its instruction manual on being called by its name, iPhone, rather than generically as an iPhone or the iPhone) has helped me in the following small sampling of ways:

It's helped me lose weight.
It's helped me manage the family's money and actually know how much money we have, thanks to a handy little checkbook app.
I've got a bookshelf's worth of books in it to read at my leisure.
We don't ever get lost. Yeah, I said it, Eric. It took us right to that Krispy Kreme ... warehouse. Maybe I still need to learn how to use the GPS.
It got me into geocaching, the world's greatest hobby.
I can listen to about a bazillion different live music streams, in addition to what I have loaded in on the internal iPod.
It helped tune Frank's guitar at church on Saturday.

In short, it is mankind's greatest technological achievement.

What is internet marketing?

2009-06-01T16:56:00.003-04:00

What is internet marketing?

www.truthininternetmarketing.com

I can't believe I tried to answer this question on the site. It's much too vague to actually get answered. At the same time, though, it's one of those foundational, building-block kind of questions that has to be answered before going forward. So, I answered it in a fairly simplistic kind of fashion. I didn't want to add to the confusion around the subject, because there's a lot of it there, but rather define a baseline that we could move forward from. With that as the goal, I think I did a good enough job.

Site Update

2009-05-29T11:07:00.004-04:00

I am ashamed -- I hide --
What right have I -- to be a Bride --

Emily Dickenson
"I am ashamed -- I hide"

I'm ashamed of the shameless pimping and self-promotion going on here at the blog these days. However, it's getting me to the blog more regularly, which is a good thing. Also, the tasks that are getting me to the blog are forcing me to write, which is also a good thing. The end result is that I might actually, you know, start blogging instead of just pimping my sites out soon as a byproduct of all the pushing of the sites. We take what we can get, I suppose.

In any case, I put up a new update at TruthInInternetMarketing.com. The first update, actually, in which we answer the question "Can I make money with Google AdSense?" No, I will not tell you the answer here, as that would completely and utterly keep me from my goal of driving traffic to the site. Click the link, Lazypants.

Yes, writing is fun again. I have to start doing this more often.

Two New Websites

2009-05-26T01:32:00.002-04:00

And a partridge in a pear tree

"The Twelve Days of Christmas"
Traditional Christmas Carol

I made new websites! I am very, very pleased with myself. This is the first forward progress I've made on one of my own projects in much longer than I care to remember. I really got convicted about abandoning that facet of my business last week, and it's born a little fruit already.

The first site I'll talk about is my finally resurrected TruthInInternetMarketing.com website. I've tried a couple of different things with this site, because I really like the name, but nothing ever stuck with me as a concept. I've finally turned it into a site where people will be able to submit their questions about internet marketing and get an honest, straight answer from me, because I'm not trying to sell them anything.

The second site is something I'm having much more fun with. At RandomForecast.com, you can go get ... well ... pretty much what you'd think: a random weather forecast. I will give credit where it was due, as the whole thing is the brainchild of my lovely and witty wife Holli, and I thought it was hilarious so I'm running with it. I've had a long standing grudge against the field of meteorology, because I think they're largely just sticking their heads outside and then guessing, and this is my way of having a little fun with them.

The whole thing is very rough right now, but I'll be polishing it up soon. I'm going to get some good stock iconography to spice up my actual forecasts, then make the text in the forecasts themselves a little more fun; 30% chance of rain of frogs, that kind of thing. Next, I'll actually base the forecasts on weather data for the Terre Haute area. Someday I might even find a way to tie the whole thing in and let you get a random weather forecast appropriate for your zip code, but we've got to take things one step at a time.

As I update both sites, I'll keep everyone posted here. I've also got a third site I'm going to work on after I get these two both running at levels I'm happy with. This site will be the culmination of delusions caused by sleep deprivation from Brianna's birth nearly nine years ago. That makes it awesome.

Ready. Fire! Aim.

2009-05-18T16:34:00.002-04:00

If you ever get your hands on some plutonium, you'll be dangerous.

Glen Cook

I'm a ready, fire, aim kind of guy. I get an idea and I rush forward with it before I think it through. I've always been that way, whether you want to call it "spontaneous" or "impetuous." It's just what I am. It's decidedly not a good thing, but it's Larry.

I'm also probably a little too smart for my own good. I've always been smart enough to get by with minimal effort and let me brains pull me out of a jam. I've got any number of anecdotes I could tell to illustrate the point, but I rather chose to use the quote in this post - from my high school physics teacher, one of the few to see through my facade of being "above average" - to do it for me. The point is that I've been blessed with this wonderful brain, but rather than using it for good, I just kind of let it languish.

So what does that make me? I'm an impetuous, easily-distracted underachiever. With a little focus, I honestly believe that I could do something great for the world (or irradiate it to dangerous, inhospitable levels if Cook's words are to be believed). I just don't know how to find it.

You know what's funny? Half of the book of Proverbs go about telling me all of the answers I need. I just read them and they might as well be written in the language of the planet Zorbador. I forsee some serious study in Proverbs for me in the near future.

Long Time Gone

2009-05-16T23:01:00.004-04:00

What is it?
It's it
What is it?

Faith No More
"Epic"
The Real Thing (1990)

Don't ask me what the quote has to do with anything. I have no idea, honestly. Epic is an awesome cool song, and I didn't want to use any variation on "Where have you been, young man?" so you get Epic.

Anyway, there's a lot going on. Holli and I both had remarkable, life altering experiences on the Walk to Emmaus. I'm adjusting my work schedule yet again, trying to make changes in life, and largely getting overwhelmed as the enemy looks to attack me whatever chance he gets throughout the process.

I really don't know what to write right now. I don't have the time to spew forth everything that's swirling around in my brain at the moment, unfortunately. There's so much with faith, life, and work that I could talk about. I wouldn't know where to start, though, and the rattle coming from the shredded remains of my Lappy's "fan" - the quotation marks necessary because it is now just a hollow shell of a fan - make me mindful of how long I leave it on for right now.

So rather than try to recap, I'm just going to leave you all with a thought. Eric, our pastor at HealingPointe, notes all the time that Jesus wants us to sit at His feet, as Mary did, rather than running around trying to handle everything like Martha did. If I could figure out how to do that right now, I would.

Walking to Emmaus

2009-04-22T23:23:00.003-04:00

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

J.R.R. Tolkien
"The Road Goes Ever On"
The Lord of the Rings

I'm off on an Emmaus Walk spiritual retreat. I'd tell you more about it, but I know very little. I'm mostly going on blind faith in my pastor who said it's a phenomenal experience, and since I trust Eric implicitly, away I go.

I'll be gone from Thursday night through Sunday night, with no phone or internet access. This makes me simultaneously nervous and excited. I'm nervous for reasons that should be obvious; they're obvious to me, at the very least. I'm an entrepreneur and web dork, and being without the phone and internet seems anathema to me at this point. I'm afraid I'm going to have withdrawls, falling trembling to the floor when the stark realization of the fact that I have no idea what's going on anywhere I can't physically see sets in on me.

I'm excited, though, for that very reason. I'm so tethered to that nonsense by what it is that I do that it's all a constant distraction for me in my life. I look forward to being without it - and any other distractions - for a few days. I look forward to listening to God in a place where His voice is one of the only ones that can reach me to see what He has to say.

See y'all next week!

I Love My Church

2009-04-11T23:22:00.003-04:00

Family denotes a group of people affiliated by a common ancestry, affinity or co-residence. Although the concept of consanguinity originally referred to relations by "blood," anthropologists[who?] have argued that one must understand the idea of "blood" metaphorically, and that many societies understand 'family' through other concepts rather than through genetic distance.

Wikipedia: Family

We had our Easter service at HealingPointe tonight, and it was fantastic. We had worship, videos, an awesome message, and communion. I couldn't have asked for more out of a worship service.

After service, we all filed over to the local IHOP - and I reference the House of Pancakes this time, not the House of Prayer. We squeezed thirty human beings, nearly half of them children and one of them my mother, into three booths and about five tables. We had great food and awesome conversation, some of which was carried out across the aisles thanks to the awesome technology that is yelling. Some of us got our food early and ate while others without food looked on despondently. They took incriminating photographs of us eating to post to Facebook via the iPhone, only for our table, that with food, to respond in kind, mocking their lack of food. The whole place was filled with laughter, love, and a sense of belonging.

The people at my church are as much my family, and in many ways moreso, than most of the people in this world that share my DNA. To those of you reading, I love y'all. I don't toss that word around lightly, but it's the absolute truth. You guys are my family.

Happy Easter, everyone! He is risen!

Words Fail

2009-04-09T22:57:00.009-04:00

He's alive!
Yes, He's alive!
Yes, He's alive, and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide

Dolly Parton
"He's Alive"
White Limozeen (1989)

I've been trying to write something here about Easter for quite some time, and I just can't. God has graced me in a great many ways, and to some extent, he's graced me as a wordsmith. I do not have the skill with the written word, however, to do any justice to what this week means to all of us. I can't write anything that will do any good, no matter how hard I try. The only recourse left to me, clearly, is to stop trying, and just let Jesus' own words speak on His behalf:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you may also be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going" John 14:1-4

I Am a Panhead

2009-04-08T01:28:00.002-04:00

Friggin' Rock Friggin' On

Gregg Kavanaugh

So we went to a rock concert here in town tonight. Terre Haute doesn't get many rock concerts, so we were happy to attend. The fact that it was headlined by one of our favorite Christian bands, Skillet, didn't make our decision any more difficult.

Our tickets said Row 1 on them, but when Holli was checking prior to the show on Ticketmaster, it also showed that there were floor seats. We figured that what we had was the first row of the bleachers, and that there would be floor seats in front of us. We were mistaken. Front row, two seats right of center. I could stretch my legs out from my seat without constraint from other chairs in front of me. My face was peeled away by the blast of the speakers. It was righteous.

Decyfer Down opened the show. I'd never heard any of their music before the show, but I quickly became a fan. Their lead singer looks like Chris Jericho of WWE fame, and sounds quite a bit like him as he sings, too. I do not mean the latter statement to be anything but a compliment, mind you, as I think Jericho's got a good voice. Their music was just good ol' hard rock, except they're rocking for Jesus, which is a cause I can get behind.

Disciple was up next, and my brother-in-law had warned me that I might not like them, as he thought they were a bit on the screamy side. Perhaps they do scream, but it's much more in the mold of Rage Against the Machine, a band I liked very much when it existed, rather than in the mold of your average speed metal band singing D-E-words, which I do not like. They've also clearly got some roots in southern rock, a genre Holli still refuses to acknowledge the existence of, because there were some really strong melodies underneath all of the hard-rocking guitar. Their lead singer has more energy than any human being I've ever known, and he gave an absolutely fantastic testimony near the end of their set. Also, one of their guitar players did a backflip off of a crate with his guitar on, which was, needless to say, awesome cool.

Skillet closed the show, and they just blew us away. They're absolutely fantastic live, and even actually trudged along a fiddle player (it's a fiddle if it's played in concert with a guitar) to do their strings live. All five of them, much like Disciple's lead singer, were loaded with energy. Being an aspiring guitar player myself, the thought of actually being able to play my instrument at the high level they were at was daunting enough; playing it while singing and bouncing around like I drank a case of Red Bull seems impossible to me, though. I even have a picture of the fiddle player playing the string part in "Rebirthing" with both of his feet off of the ground. It was just nuts.

When the show was over, Holli looked down at her feet and found a guitar pick for me. As the roadies were cleaning up afterwards, they grabbed a bunch more of them off the ground and threw me another. You know, because I was in the front row. So now I've got two picks that have been used in the Lord's service, and hopefully they can carry on the the tradition here.

As I go to more and more Christian concerts, the difference becomes more and more clear to me. Here we were, however many people filling up the Hulman-George Theater, all rocking out and bouncing in our chairs during Skillet's set, when they play a worship song for us. What was a wild, rocking time suddenly turned into a theater full of hands raised, praising the God of the universe, focusing and letting loose all of the praise that we'd been involved in for nearly three hours.

Also, before the fascists running the arena made everyone go back to their seats, we had formed the most polite mosh pit I've ever seen. Everyone had their own personal space, nobody was pushing everyone. It was great.

Happy Anniversary, Me!

2009-04-06T11:45:00.002-04:00

Chicago Cubs baseball is on the air!

Pat Hughes

Today, the MLB season kicks off in earnest, as Opening Day is finally upon us. To this, I say huzzah, and bring on the Cubbies! Also today, I celebrate my third anniversary as an entrepreneur, as it was Opening Day '06 when I opened the proverbial doors of Swank Solutions to start in as a web developer and network consultant. Times and business entities have changed, but here I sit, three years later, getting ready to start my fourth year at the same job for the first time, well, ever. Hooray for accomplishments, as pathetic as they might be.

How will I be celebrating this momentous occasion? Working. Yeah, I know; I'm pathetic.

Ten Random Songs from my iPod, Round II

2009-04-05T13:53:00.000-04:00

I felt the power
Of death over life
I orphaned his children
I widowed his wife
And all for no reason
Just one piece of lead
I hung my head
I hung my head

Johnny Cash
"I Hung My Head"
American IV: The Man Comes Around (2002)

It's time for another one. Here we go!

"Draw Me Nearer" by Caedmon's Call from WOW Hymns
WOW Hymns is an awesome album. New Christian artists singing old hymns (or new songs written in the style of old-timey hymns). It's very cool. I cleaned out my iPod recently, letting go of my obsession to keep only full albums on, thereby deleting a bunch of duplicates and freeing up some space. I left this full album on, though, because the hymns are a nice break in my usual lineup of songs.
"The Gloomy Mansion" by Takeharu Ishimoto from Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Original Soundtrack
I'm a dork. I was a dork last time, I'm a dork this time, I'll be a dork next time I do this. The video game music stays.
"Hey Now" by tobyMac and Coffee from Welcome to Diverse City
Another full album that survived the purge. Toby's awesome.
"I Need You to Love Me" by BarlowGirl from WOW Hits 2008
Holli and I have different opinions on chicks that rock. I like them. She does not. Not because of any female jealousy or anything, she just likes her rockers to be guys. I like female rockers because they bring something different to the table vocally. Suffice it to say, I like BarlowGirl.
"Born Again" by Third Day from Revelation
Dude rockers are alright, too, though.
"Lord Move, or Move Me" by FFH from Found a Place
This song is awesome. We first heard it at church (hooray for Frank and Beth!), and it's just got really powerful lyrics. I've always been the kind of guy that the lyrics have to appeal to me in a song, and this fits the bill on that. That's why I've never liked speed metal of any type: if I can't understand the words of a song, it's useless to me.
"Samuel's Awakening" by Jason Upton from Open Up the Earth
My love for Upton's music is well documented. Objectively, I'll say that he's a lot better on his live albums than on his studio albums. There's a level of passion that comes through in his live stuff that just doesn't translate into a studio-engineered album.
"Doxology" by David Crowder Band from WOW Hymns
If you grew up going to church, you know the Doxology. We sang it at IHOP on Friday, in fact, and it was awesome. Well, this is the best version of it ever.
"I Hung My Head" by Johnny Cash from American IV: The Man Comes Around
One of my regrets is that it took me until Cash's cover of "Hurt" to realize just how awesome The Man in Black really was. Vaya con Dios, Johnny, although I know you did.
"Take My Life (and Let It Be)" by Chris Tomlin from WOW Hymns
Chris Tomlin is one of our great modern performers, and his songs are going to live on long past his career. His music is absolutely amazing.

Lazy Saturday

2009-04-04T12:49:00.001-04:00

Everybody ... now bleed a beetle?

Matt Chapman as
Strong Bad
From the Sbemailerized Entertainment version of the HomestarRunner.com intro

No particular reason for the quote other than that it makes me smile. Everything on Homestar Runner makes me smile, for the most part. It manages to do so without offending me, though, which is awesome. I hope the Brothers Chaps are making fifty bajillion dollars off of that site, because they deserve every penny.

What does this have to do with anything? Nothing. Which is what I have to do this afternoon.

I was going to go to the Harp and Bowl training at the WVIHOP. Now, for those of you wondering what that is, exactly, it's where the guys at the WVIHOP teach you to worship like they do. As Marvin would say, you sing your prayers and you pray your songs, and the musicians all kind of riff off of one another for an hour or more at a time. It's awesome, and I was going to learn how to do it, but it got cancelled for today.

So, I got up and played some guitar of my own this morning. I can do a pretty passable rendition of "Praise You in this Storm" now, which makes me happy. I need to be able to sing along with it, but I think if I could ever do that with any song, it would be that one. It's woven into the fabric of my DNA, so I shouldn't have to think too much while I'm doing it.

I've had some breakfast, too, which is good, and I'll have a snack in a little while. I usually do a food fast on Saturdays, but I'm feeling like the Lord's saying that it's time to start fasting a couple of other things, instead, so I'm eating this weekend. Food makes me happy, too, so I've got a lot going for me today, even without the Harp and Bowl training.

I'm on the balcony as I write this, keeping an eye on the kids while they play. Well, just Brianna, at the moment, as Connor's on the self-imposed injured list with toe blisters. And she's not so much playing as she is riding her bike around. I'm going to continue my work on some psalm memorization here in a little while.

Yep. It's Saturday. Awesome.

Random Thoughts

2009-04-03T02:14:00.003-04:00

I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain?

Creedence Clearwater Revival
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain"
Pendulum (1970)

Stream of consciousness. Go!

I'm feeling better today. Just started tonight, actually. I'm fully caught up on the Daily Audio Bible. I'm fully caught up on my task list for clients. My task list for the business itself is getting kind of lean. I think I have a handle on the budget. God's given me some clear direction on a couple of things He wants me to be doing. It's like I'm getting to see a whole bunch of light in a whole bunch of things all at once.
I hate the last post I did with bullet points in it, because I didn't put a line with a non-breaking space at the end of each point to separate them clearly. I could go back and fix it, yeah, but I prefer to leave it in place as a monument to my own failure.
Guitar actually seems to be going well. I'm having a little trouble shifting to the F chord, but apparently that's something that sticks a lot of people. My teacher said I was in some way gifted rhythmically at my last lesson, though, so that's something.
Were it not for the stupid F chord, I'd be playing a passable rendition of "Have You Ever Seen the Rain" by CCR. Perhaps you know it, and all of CCR's other music, from every freaking movie about the Vietnam war ever. It's also become one of Holli's least favorite songs ever, courtesy of my incessant practicing of it.
I've also been practicing "Cannons" by Phil Wickham, too, but just for me. Well, for God, also. I played it today and something just kind of clicked; I'm hitting most of the transitions, I've got the strumming patterns down, and it really sounds like the song. It just came out of nowhere, though. I must have leveled up at Wednesday's lesson.
The better I get at playing the guitar - and I'd still rate myself as quite the poor guitar player, mind you - the more rewarding it gets. When I played my first two chords (E and A) in a pattern that was kind of peacful and harmonious, that was fun. When I went from there and was able to, really slowly, strum a few simple patterns, that was better. When I could almost kind of play "Last Kiss," that was awesome. To be able to have a couple of songs that, barring a few missteps here and there, that I can actually play, though ... that's just awesome. I'm sorry I didn't pick up on this music thing earlier in life, because I absolutely love it.
You can shut up now, Matt. Matt will get this. If you are not Matt - the Matt, specifically, not just some random Matt - then this isn't for you. The rest of you can just move along.
The beefs are tender. I have no idea why that just popped into my head, but I'm laughing uproariously on the inside.
I played Battletech with Shannon tonight - a star of my Jade Falcons against a star of his Ghost Bears. The Falcons prevailed, but it was ... how do you say ... by the narrowest of margins. I'll probably write a report on it soon; not because I think any of you care, mind you, but because it'll be fun and that's how I roll.
I started doing the family books last night, because Holli needs a break. While doing the books, I summarily ate an entire box of Girl Scout cookies. They were Tagalongs - known to me in my youth as Peanut Butter Sandwiches. They were delicious. I refuse to weigh myself until Monday now.

Catharsis

2009-03-31T00:34:00.004-04:00

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am

Casting Crowns
"Praise You in This Storm"
Lifesong (2005)

Am I in a storm? I dunno. I guess so. I haven't felt quite right for weeks now. There's just always something wrong, but I can never quite place my finger on it. I pray, but I'm not getting anywhere; I know He's there - somewhere - but I can't seem to find Him save for fleeting glances here and there. I'm happy on occasion, most notably when I'm doing something fun with the family, but otherwise, I've just been kind of down.

I sat down to work tonight, and I just could not get started. It's been a long, tough day, that I started off with a short night's sleep to get Connor to a massive dental appointment, which basically translated to me being an emotional wreck as I waited in the lobby. The day didn't really get worse from there, which I'd have almost preferred; I always seem to get a release when I bottom out. It just kind of maintained, though, so now I'm in this funk. Holli and I both think I should just do the little I absolutely have to do tonight and then go to bed early, but I can't even do that.

The one thing I really wanted to do tonight was play the guitar, and I did. I've been taking lessons for the past six weeks, and while I'm not anywhere even close to being good yet, I think I might be approaching poor, and mediocre is well in sight. The important part is that I can play something and actually hear what I'm trying to play, and whether or not anyone else can hear it, that's a victory for me.

I'd already practiced today, which means that Holli had long since gotten her fill of CCR for one day (hooray for beginner songs!), but despite that I had every intention of practicing it some more. It's my assignment for the week, and there's a transition passage that's really fun for me because it's right on the bleeding edge of my difficulty curve. I can do it, but just barely, so I feel like I've accomplished something every time I pull it off.

I didn't play it, though. I got it out and I started strumming through "Praise You in This Storm," which is one of my absolute favorite songs. I found a chording (is that even a word, Beth?) that is simple enough for me to play involving C, Em, D, G, and Am, and I've been playing it when I just want to mess around and have fun with the guitar.

So, I sat on the edge of the bed and I started to play. I might have actually touched poor with the quality of my performance, which is a good thing for me. What's more important, though, at least in terms of right now for me, is that I was able to touch Him, at least for a little while. It's like He smiled at me for a minute to remind me that He was still there and let me know that He liked what I was doing.

My guitar is safely tucked away in its bag until tomorrow. Holli is falling asleep on the bed. I am, once again, alone, looking for my Father and unable to find Him. I've talked with Holli quite a bit, and I think that's the point of where the two of us are right now: He's confident enough in us to stop just handing everything to us, so now it's time to make us work for our relationship with Him. I suppose it's good that He trusts me that much, butit's still kind of hard on me; it was nice to get to see Him, though, even if it was just for a moment.

Time to get to work. I've promised a client something by 5 AM, so I'm going to deliver on my promise and then get the crap to bed. Tomorrow holds promise, much as every morrow does.

Larry's Awesome Catchup Lightning Round

2009-03-23T03:03:00.005-04:00

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

Mark Twain

You know, I've been doing the quote thing for as long as I've been blogging, and this one is way out ahead of any other quote in the race to win the coveted Slappy award for Most Frequently Used Quote. Probably because I take the blogging hiatuses far too often. No particular reason this time. I've been really busy, so if you want to find a culprit, that's probably it.

I will now give the basic rundown on what's going on in Larry's world to at least try to get back into the flow:

The guitar playing is coming along well. Transitioning between chords is getting easier and easier, and I can almost play my favorite Phil Wickham song, "Cannons," now. Just have to get the strumming down and iron out a couple of transitions, and I'll be good.
I can also almost play "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam (yeah, I know it's a cover, but it's a Pearl Jam song now) and "Born Again" by Third Day, because they all use the same chords! When you take away all of the mysticism and secrecy around music, it's actually pretty simple. It's almost disappointing in its accessibility to someone as amusical as myself.
My iPhone is borked. It won't sync with iTunes, which means I can't download my new GPS app I bought for three bucks.
To answer the question some of you are asking: no, the iPhone doesn't come with GPS installed, not in the strictest of interpretations. It does come with a mapping program that can tell you where you are and track your position, which seems like GPS, but it's actually more of a navigation aid. Actual GPS tells you your longitude and latitude and stuff like that. That's what I'm going for.
To answer the question others of you are asking: I'm going for that because this week, the Swank family starts Geocaching! Holli finally listened to me when I talked about it and realized that it is, in fact, super ultra awesome cool. That is the bestest type of cool, in case you're wondering.
I'm not sure they're doing SBemails on Homestar Runner anymore. They're still making regular updates, but there hasn't been anything new from Strong Bad and his Lappy in a while. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I know for a fact I'd be upset if they hadn't given me 4 Gregs, the spinoff cartoon that nobody except me apparently wanted. But since they've introduced me to all four of the Gregs, I can't really be angry at them. Maybe I'll get some more Tenerence Love next week, too; that would make things peachy keen. The minor H*R characters are almost always my favorites.
For those of you keeping track, "peachy keen" is only the third best type of keen.
My best friend is trying to talk me into doing a podcast with him. He's pitching "Larry and Matt's Super Awesome Hour!" I'll keep you posted.
My Aunt Andy, whose name has either changed since I was little by replacing the "y" with an "i" or whose name I have always spelled incorrectly and just never been corrected about, came to church with us on Saturday. Contrary to her expectations, the roof did not fall in. As I told her there, though, if it had, it would only have been because I helped build things. I happen to think God was very happy to see her there.
I cut my hair. Pictures sometime this week, or now if you're on Facebook!

Killer

2009-03-15T00:36:00.007-04:00

Did you hear about Test?

Holli Swank

This post is a downer, but I needed to write it. Turn away now if you're not interested in feeling a little worse coming out than you did going in. You have been warned.

Most of you reading this probably have no idea who Andrew Martin was. He was a professional wrestler, who spent several successful years in the WWE as Test; a few more of you might recognize the name now. Recently he had bounced around in the business, trying to stick somewhere after failing in his last stint in WWE and going through a drug rehab program. He died in his apartment on Friday, and while I've not seen any details yet, if this turns out to be anything other than a drug overdose, I'll be shocked.

I love professional wrestling. I absolutely love it. Yes, I know that this statement is entirely contrary to the title of this post, but just bear with me for a moment. I love the athleticism and the artistry - yes, I just called pro wrestling art - of what those guys do in the ring. I love the ability that the great ones have to not only pic up a microphone to tell a story, but also to get into a ring and tell the same story with physicality. It's like ballet for guys that aren't secure enough in their manhood to watch ballet, and I'm down with that. I'll take a moonsault over a pirouette any day of the week.

Now I'm going to participate in an exercise that is probably going to make me cry as I sit here in the dark. I've not thought about doing this today, so I'm totally unprepared, and my most sincere apologies here go out to the hereafter if there's anyone that should be here that I forget. I'm going to list professional wrestlers that I enjoyed watching, either as a child or an adult, who are now dead way before their time.

Curt Hennig, aka "Mr. Perfect": As a child of the 80's, being a wrestling fan meant that I grew up on the Hulk Hogan era. Well, Mr. Perfect was one of the great villains of that era, having a narcissistic "I'm better than everyone" persona. In the ring, Curt was one of the greatest performers that I've ever seen. Very few could tell a story within the confines of the ring better than he could. I remember watching a match as a child where Hulk Hogan was defending the belt against Mr. Perfect, who at the time was undefeated in the WWF. My child-brain wondered how Hogan could possibly beat someone who'd never lost. Well, Hogan won, and Hennig made him look like a million dollars.

In 2003, Curtis Michael Hennig died in a hotel room in Florida due to a cocaine overdose. He was 44 years old.

Richard Rood, aka "Ravishing Rick Rude": Richard Rood was one of Curt Hennig's contemporaries, and the two were good friends in real life. In the ring, Rick Rude was one of the all-time great villains. He was a solid worker with one of the best personalities I've ever seen. He was great on the mic, and he could make a crowd hate him - the job of a good heel - as well as anyone. He remained relevant into the boom of the 90s, when his sudden switch from WWF to WCW was one of the huge shots fired in the war between the two companies.

In 1999, Richard Erwin Rood died from an overdose of "mixed medications." He was 41 years old.

David Smith, aka "The British Bulldog, Davey Boy Smith": One half of one of the great tag teams of my youth, the British Bulldogs, and a member of the Hart Foundation. Davey Boy was a wall of muscle. He was solid in the ring, and delivered a good interview in his thick, British accent. He was larger than life, though, physically and in character, and that's what made him really stand out.

In 2002, David Boy Smith died from a heart attack while on vacation in British Columbia. An autopsy revealed that years of anabolic steriod use may have contributed to his death. He was 39 years old.

Owen Hart, aka "The Blue Blazer": Owen Hart was a member of the famous Hart wrestling family, little brother to Bret "The Hitman" Hart. He was as talented as anyone who ever set foot in the wrestling ring, and could tell a story as well as anyone. He was great on the microphone, too, whether playing the little brother trying to climb out of Bret's shadow or as The Blue Blazer, decked out in superhero garb and parodying the caricatures that were wrestling personalities in the 1980s.

In 1999, Owen James Hart died when he fell from the ceiling of the Kemper Arena after a harness cable slipped during preparation for an elaborate ring entrance on pay-per-view. He was 34 years old.

Michael Alfonso, aka "Mike Awesome": I had no idea who Mike Awesome was before watching an ECW PPV view sometime around the turn of the century. I was tuning in to see Tazz - a little ball of hate and judo who was the ECW champion - wrestle against Masato Tanaka, an awesome Japanese talent, and Mike Awesome was inserted into the match as a third competitor. He blew my mind. He was a remarkable physical specimin, and could perform feats of both strength and agility that were amazing for someone of his size. He was one of the best high-flying big men I've ever seen.

In 2007, Michael Lee Alfonso committed suicide at his home. He was 42 years old.

Brian Pillman, aka "Flyin' Brian" and "The Loose Cannon": When I first saw Brian Pillman wrestle, he was in WCW as Flyin' Brian and was teaming with Stunning Steve Austin (later to become the greatest wrestler ever as Stone Cold Steve Austin) as half of the Hollywood Blondes. He was a great flyer, but when injuries took that away from him he started to let his personality do the work for him, and his gravely voice and unpredictable interviews made a name for him.

In 1997, Brian William Pillman died in a hotel room of complications from a previously undetected heart condition. He was 35 years old.

Eddie Guerrero: Eddie Guerrero was one of the best professional wrestlers I've ever seen. Born into a wreslting family, Eddie was as proficient in the art that is pro wrestling as anyone ever has been. He was graceful in the ring, he understood ring psychology, and he had a flamboyant personality and great microphone skills that gave us some of the greatest promos ever.

In 2005, Eduardo Gory Guerrero was found dead of heart failure in a hotel room prior to a pay-per-view. He was 38 years old.

Andrew Martin, aka "Test": Test was a part of the Attitude Era of the late 90s and early oughties in the WWE. He was a tall man and ripped to the gills, so he cut an imposing figure. He played a prominent part in many high profile storylines during his time there, including a long engagement to Stephanie McMahon that ultimately culminated, as all storyline weddings do in wrestling, with a wedding in the ring that was foiled by the bad guys.

On Friday, Andrew James Robert Patrick Martin was found dead in his apartment after a neighbor reported seeing him motionless through a window for hours. He was 33 years old.

Chris Benoit: I come to Benoit last, as had been my intention all along, because you save the best for last - and in the ring, Chris Benoit was the best. There are probably more names I should mention beforehand, but I honestly just can't do anymore. Chris Benoit was the greatest professional wrestler I have ever seen perform in the ring. Nobody could perform in the ring the way that Benoit could. The man was responsible for several of my all-time favorite matches, and had the uncanny ability to make anyone he was wrestling with look good.

One day before my birthday in 2007, Chris Benoit was found dead in his home along with his wife, former professional wrestler Nancy Benoit, and their son. Benoit had murdered both his wife and his son before taking his own life. Examination of his brain showed that it "was so severely damaged it resembled the brain of an 85-year-old Alzheimer's patient." He was 40 years old.

I have not watched more than an hour of wrestling in total since the death of the Benoit family, and I've enjoyed none of it.

I love professional wrestling. But I hate - and I mean that word with every ounce of the vile connotation that it holds - the wrestling business. I hate that it chews these guys up and spits them out with absolutely no lasting remorse. I hate that when they've outlived their usefulness to the business, it tosses them aside with absolutely zero thought as to helping them get by with the injuries and lasting disability that the business has caused them.

I want to be able to watch wrestling. I want to be able to enjoy it again, and mark out like I did when I watched Mrs. Foley's baby boy, Mick Foley, get tossed off the top of a cage through the announcing table. Then I close my eyes, see all the old heroes from my youth dead long before they should be, and I can't in any way justify supporting it. Maybe if they change the way the wrestlers are treated: ease up the schedule so they're not killing themselves with somas, ease up the physical requirements so they're not killing themselves with steroids, and ease up the in-ring requirements so they're not killing themselves with concussions and broken necks. Maybe when they stop treating these guys like cattle by pretending they're "independent contractors" and actually provide medical care for them. Maybe when they've got pension and benefits for after they've stepped out of the ring. Maybe I could enjoy it then.

Here's the rub, though. That's never going to happen, because the minute it does, the wrestling business goes under. It stops being profitable at that point because of the cost, and businesses that aren't profitable fail. So here I sit, desperately wanting to support an art form that I love, but unable to do so because I refuse to have a hand in killing anyone else the way I helped kill the guys on this list by cheering them on as they destroyed themselves.

Vaya con Dios, Test.

I'm With You, Mike

2009-03-13T18:53:00.003-04:00

I don't like it. It's all coming down.

Mike Holmes

I'm sure that most of you probably don't know who Mike Holmes is. In light of this, you can educate yourself here. For those of you who don't want to click the link and read, though, here's the short version:

He's a contractor from Canada. He has a show on some Discovery network or another, I beilieve, that Holli and I used to watch all the time. The premise of the show is that someone got, in some fashion, screwed over by a contractor that was either dishonest, incompetent, or both, and then Mike would come in to clean up the mess for them. He'd shock himself on wires that were left hot, punch holes in drywall and rip it off with his bare hands (no lie), and invariably end up ripping out everything the other contractor did and redoing it from scratch.

Why did he do this? First off, because he's a businessman and it's lucrative; he made a television show that he sold to a major cable network off of this practice. Second, because he's philanthropic; he wants to help these people - most of whom are out thousands upon thousands of dollars with literally nothing to show for it - and because of the income from the TV show he was often times able to help at a fraction of the cost of the work he ended up doing. Finally, though, he did it because he honestly seemed to despise the other contractors - the incompentent and dishonest ones, because they gave him and his profession a bad name.

I am Mike Holmes. Except I'm a web dork instead of a contractor. And I can't punch holes in drywall because I'm not awesome like that. The burning anger raging deep inside over dishonest and incompetent people making me look bad, though? Check. Said anger flaring up every time I have to clean up behind another web guy who screwed one of my clients over? Double check. Camera crew following me around to sell the whole thing as reality TV? Well, we're still working on that one.

In other news, after posting about letting God guide the business earlier this week, I had a new client call me out of the blue today needing to get some work done. There's a meeting scheduled for Monday, and I just so happened to have this afternoon free to do a mockup to show them. I pretty much give up at trying to do business myself at this point. God's going to do what He wants. I basically work for Him. I wonder if the state would let me get away with listing Him as the CEO ...

In yet other news, Connor turned seven today. That is, in technical terms, imbefrickingpossible. My little boy, my middle child, cannot be seven. He got Lego Star Wars for the Wii from his grandma today, and we were playing it before he went off for dinner with different grandparents. He's running around beating the crap out of the Gammorean guards in Jabba's palace as Chewbacca, and I'm sitting there as Luke, nunchuk in hand, wondering aloud: "How do I make these stupid blocks build something?" It's comical how old I've become.

In still more news, I'm all alone tonight. Erin is with Grandma Margaret. Connor is having dinner for his birthday with Pappy and DeeDee. Holli and Brianna - and I assure you that I am not making any of this up - dressed up like one another and went out to a Girl Scout event where they will "rock out," discuss current issues facing girls, learn about proper skin care, and let the mommys learn what it's like to be a girl in the oughties while the girls learn what I was like to be a girl in the eighties and ninetys.

I'm just kind of playing guitar. Well, I was. My left hand started to hurt and I got frustrated by almost playing the riff to "I Alone" for the bajillionth time, so I stopped and started this post. Alright, I'm done.

Faith-Based Business

2009-03-12T02:39:00.003-04:00

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.

Ecclesiastes 12:13 (NIV)

I state on my website that I run a faith-based business, but I'm not sure that's a wholly accurate statement. Not because I don't have the best intentions of running a faith-based business, mind you, but rather because I have absoultely no idea what that really looks like from a Biblical perspective. I've never actually sat down and really dug through the Bible and tried to see what His Word tells me I should do as an entrepreneur. So, I'm starting to do just that; I'm looking through this really thorough concordance that Holli and I have over the next several nights - perhaps even weeks - to see what I need to change up.

The other decision I've made is cease my attempts to build the business. If I do something or plan something to build the business and make it happen by my hands, it's going to fail. That's just what the things of man do. So rather than keep flailing away at the wall that I'm trying to tear down to make my business grow, I'm just going to do the job that I've been assigned by now, put my faith in the Lord, and see where He takes FortySixTen Studios.

Quite frankly, He's the reason this business exists in the first place. If He hadn't forced the issue and seen to it that I was fired from Circuit City for being too good at my job, I'd have never gone full time with my previous employer. Had things not gone sour with them in my third year there, I'd have never had the inclination to go out on my own. It wasn't my ambition that brought me to entrepreneurship; it was God slamming doors shut and putting roadblocks up on the path I wanted to take - the easy one - and forcing me down this road by making it the only one avaialble to me. It's only logical, then, that rather than trying to expand my business by my own ambition, I leave it to my Lord's discretion to do it.

At the beginning of this week, I was all fired up to start going back through some books of mine, write up a concrete business plan, and see how I could really push my business beyond the plateau I've come up against. As things stand now, though, it's just time for me to dig in for a while. I have a job that I've been blessed with and that I absolutely love, and I just need to continue to do it to my fullest ability, continue to study what the Word demands of me in my role, and continue to wait for the Lord to do whatever it is that He has in store for my business.

Or maybe it's His business. Maybe that right there is what I've got wrong in this whole thing. Much like I'm just a steward of the money He gives me to tend to in this life, maybe I'm likewise just a steward of FortySixTen Studios. Something to pray about ...

Unintended Side Effects V: Tales from the Balcony

2009-03-11T01:15:00.006-04:00

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet.

Juliet Capulet
from William Shakespeare's
Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, Scene 2

So I worked on the balcony for the first time on Monday night. It was glorious. Glorious.

It was 50 degrees out when I went out, so I wore a light fleece to keep the chill off. When it gets to be 65-70ish, though, I'm clearly not going to need it. I barely need it now. The comfort provided by the temperature is not where the glorious part comes in. What's so fantastic about working out here is that I'm not afraid.

I've talked about how I'm becoming afraid of the dark from working at night here on the blog before. One might speculate that working outside doesn't seem like a good choice, then, but you'd be wrong. I didn't necessarily expect that, mind you, hence the title, but I came out here and found a lot of comfort in working where I'm exposed to God's creation.

First off, there's more light out here than there is inside. There are streetlights all up and down our little apartment complex, which is a huge help. The big thing, though, is the sky. The moon is nearly full - at least that's what the web tells me as I write this, because I can't see it from where I sit - and rather than a black sky I'm treated to one that's this beautiful grey with subtle shades of blue running through it. There are also wispy white clouds dancing across it, so whenever I want to I can just look up and watch them play across the horizon. It's all very comforting. I know that God's always with me and that I have no need to fear, but at the same time, there's a tangible thing for me to look up at and be reminded of His presence by out here. I'm still a baby Christian in a lot of ways, and I need that.

Secondly, life is going on all around me. Leaves are scratching across the ground as the wind tosses them around.. Dogs are barking. I can see cars going by as people travel US 41 or, occasionally, drive through and out of the complex to somewhere that people go at 1:30 in the morning. I hear trains go by somewhere far in the distance from time to time. Some dude just coughed on his own balcony somewhere else in the complex. Something's whistling; it could be a bird. There are apparently a bunch of wind chimes on balconies out here. I've even seen some couples out walking. There is life, and that gives me comfort.

Dude just coughed again. He will never know how much I appreciate his current respiratory difficulties. Unless I yell across the complex, "Thanks for coughing!" of course. Then I'd have to explain because he'd probably think I was being sarcastic, and that would just be awkward. Best to just appreciate him in silence and hope he feels better tomorrow.

One other thing, and I know this is going to sound silly coming from a 31-year-old man, but I'm on a balcony. I've got my little bars up around me, and between that and my elevation it's not like someone could just come up and say "Eff you, Larry!" and then punch me in the face. It makes me feel safe as I confront the darkness. If this was a porch, I doubt I'd be as comfortable.

This is my new office. Any night that it's feasible for me to be working out here, I'm going to be working out here. This is so much better than working in the bedroom that it's almost not worth the comparison. This balcony is going to make leaving this place difficult when the time comes; hopefully we won't have to worry about that for another couple of years or so, though.

Be Still

2009-03-10T01:00:00.004-04:00

Be still, and know that I am God;

Psalm 46:10a (NIV)

I've been having a rough few days. I hadn't quite been able to put my finger on exactly what was going on, mind you, but I knew that something was wrong with me. Tonight, I figured it out. I had my priorities kinda wacky.

Typically, I list my priorities like this: Christian, father, web geek. "Faith, Family, Finance," as a great mentor of mine would call them. Well, to start off, I was given a gentle reminder that those priorities aren't correct in the first place, but we'll discuss that in a minute. The big, glaring problem is that the "web geek" priority had been coming first, and that cannot happen. More specifically, things aren't going to go well when that happens.

I've been worrying about work and about getting things done and flailing away at this big wall in front of me with my little, man-sized fists and getting absolutely nowhere. Because I was getting nowhere, I started flailing even harder; I'm stupid like that sometimes. I'd been ignoring my Bible study, not spending time with my family in quantities that are acceptable, and generally just having a miserable existence.

Tonight, I put that right. I was working and flailing again, and I realized that I needed to go back and do a couple of episodes of the Daily Audio Bible to catch up. So, I started listening while I was working, which doesn't work. I can do one or the other, but not both. I paused the DAB, wrote a couple of quick e-mails before I forgot what I was going to say, and then took my iPhone out onto the balcony and started listening to God's word.

A couple of things happened here when I allowed myself to be still for a moment. First off, He spoke to me through my favorite verse: the first episode I listened to contained Psalm 46 - you know, my business' namesake. I was reminded that sometimes I just need to slow down and listen to Him. As I did so, I also had the error in my priorities pointed out to me, and now I can get things squared away.

The first step to fixing things is to put work back where it belongs; on the bottom of the stack. I love my job and I am tasked with doing my job well - serving my clients as if I were serving God Himself. At the same time, though, it always needs to be the least of my concerns. My first two priorities, as Jesus lists them, are (in order) to love God and to love people. Be a web dork is down on the list somewhere under those two.

So, that's been slid back down into its appropriate spot. I took some time out of my worknight tonight to sit and commune with my Lord, which was awesome. I'm also reorganizing my priorities a little more, so they look something like this now: Love God (which does not necessarily include doing things for the church), love my family and everyone in my sphere of influence, and then everything else. Eric preached on this a while back, and I think the reality of it really just started to sink in for me today.

Tomorrow, I write about how awesome it is to work on the balcony. Actually, I think I'll do it now while I'm on the balcony and it's all right in front of me. It's not getting posted until tomorrow night, though, so you'll have to wait. Nyaaah.

Frick Yeah!

2009-03-05T11:47:00.003-05:00

Woot.

Beth Sabelhaus
http://thatsnotmeanymore.blogspot.com/

Wii Fit says I'm not obese anymore! I'm only overweight! I am so happy that now we do the Dance of Joy! Yeah! Yeah!

Seriously, you have no idea how excited I am about this. I weighed in at 213.8 pounds today from a starting point of like 245 pounds in November. I don't ever remember being this light. I have this odd dream that someday my weight might be brought to you by the number 1 - that would be righteous.

That's not to say it's without its pitfalls, mind you. Here's what a typical day of eating looks like for me:

Breakfast: Slimfast
Snack: 1/2 cup of cottage cheese
Lunch (dinner for the rest of the family): something between 500-700 calories - this is my big meal for the day
Dinner: Slimfast and a salad
Snack 2: 10 little cubes of colby cheese
Snack 3: Some oatmeal

You can substitute Sun Chips or some tuna salad for any of the snacks there, but you get the general idea. It's not a robust diet. It keeps me alive and full of energy, though, so it works.

Lets hear it for just being overweight! Yeah!

Unintended Side Effects IV: Mo' Unintended, Mo' Problems

2009-03-05T02:18:00.003-05:00

Nnn-huh

Erin Swank
When I asked her if she was ready to go back to bed just now

I write a lot about the bad parts of working at night. Well, this isn't one of those posts. So if you were in the mood for some she-dogging (hooray for obscure game references!), you're not going to get it from me tonight.

Anyway, one of the best unintended things to come from working at night is that when one of the kids wakes up with a problem, I'm almost always the parent that gets to handle it. I sleep like a rock, so when something would go wrong for one of the kids before, Holli would take care of it because the commotion would invariably fail to wake me up before it woke her up. Considering that I'm now up for half of her slar phase (hooray for obscure movie references!), though, I'm usually awake and ready to take care of any child-related problems when they arise these days.

Like tonight, when Erin randomly woke up and wanted hugs. She came in and whimpered at the door, and I told her to come in. She came in, climbed right up onto my lap, and snuggled in for hugging. We had snuggly time for about five minutes, then I asked her if she wanted to go back to bed. She responded as above - which I'm still not sure if it was affirmative or negative - and then climbed off of me. I took her back to bed, tucked her in, and was thoroughly satisfied about being a daddy.

And she's back. Apparently her tummy hurts. I think she just wants hugs, though, and that's cool. Sometimes you just want to hang out with a four-year-old at 2:24 AM.

In other awesome working at night news, I just realized how cool this summer is going to be. It's going to be 11 PM when I start working, and hopefully about 60 or 70 degrees outside. I will grab my lappy, take it out on the balcony, and work in the outside comfort. I somehow think that will help tremendously with the crushing emptiness I feel at night. I'll let you know how that goes. You know, if it ever warms up.

Global warming my fat, white butt.

Bible Study: Psalm 30

2009-03-03T22:43:00.003-05:00

When I felt secure, I said,
"I will never be shaken."

O Lord, when you favored me,
you made my mountain stand firm;
but when you hid your face,
I was dismayed.

Psalm 30:6-7 (NIV)

Time for a new feature here on the blog - Bible study. I'm acutely aware of a need in my life for more time with the Bible than what I'm currently taking, so in an effort to correct this, I'm making it a point to try to study a little each day. I already listen to the Daily Audio Bible everyday, but as awesome as it is, it's not the same as actually cracking open the Book, reading slowly, praying, and letting Him open up His Word to you. I think something that will be exceptionally useful in my study is blogging, journaling, whatever you want to call it about what He opens up to me in my study.

Tonight, since I decided that I needed to take tonight to do something other than work for a change, I spent a little quality time with God and the Word after Holli went to bed. With no real official study plan in place, I flipped the Bible open and landed on Psalm 30.

Wow.

Take the verse I quoted above, and put it into modern context. Think about how secure America was economically just a couple of years ago or even, by way of comparison to today, just six months ago. Look how quickly the economy's gone into a downturn and everyone's started to panic. Man keeps trying and trying to keep his house that he built on the sand standing as the storm comes in, but he can't.

It's amazing how powerless we really are to affect things on a permanent basis. We build, and then He destroys with flood, earthquake, or storm. We raise up governments and economic systems that topple seemingly overnight. Nothing that we do works permanently, but when it works for even a fleeting moment, man gets arrogant. We start to forget that God is the source of all of our blessings as we stand atop the little idols we construct, so sure and secure in our own supposed greatness.

So man's arrogant, and God puts the smack down on us. Not a fun lesson, eh? Well, not if you don't look at it in context. If we step to the verse right before what I quoted (Ps 30:5), though, we see this:

For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

God's reproof is always for our own good. He loves us, and his will for us is perfect, even if it's sometimes painful. So when He leads us through tough times like many are facing with the economy right now, it's always for our betterment, as hard as that might be to see.

Often in leading us through trials, He's trying to remind us that He's there and to get us to rely on Him, not on ourselves. He does this not to gain glory for Himself - being God, it all belongs to Him already, anyway - but to protect us from ourselves. What we build with our own hands falls eventually, but what God builds for us lasts for all eternity.

Other times, He just knows better than we do because He can see through time in ways we can't. Six years ago, with two extremely young children in my house, I got fired from my sales job because of a stupid corporate decision to try to cut costs by firing all the best salespeople (who made the most money). Because I got fired, I started down the path that's led me to owning my own business. It seemed so painful at the time, but in retrospect, I can now see His plan in what happened there. Had I not been fired, I wouldn't have my own business right now; rather, I'd be helping to close out the local Circuit City (because I wouldn't have ever quit on my own), wondering what I was going to do next.

God does tear us down. He never does it to be spiteful, though. No matter the reason - be it to bring us closer to Him or to force us down His path - we must always remember that His will for us is perfect and the pain that comes from his reproof, however much it might hurt in the process, is just temporary. Whatever hole grows in us as a result of being torn down will always be filled up far beyond capacity by His love after the fact ... as long as we will let it.

It's Go Time

2009-02-27T12:29:00.003-05:00

He piled upon the whale's white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart's shell upon it.

Herman Melville
Moby Dick (1851)

It's go time. There is no way - none - that I make it through the rest of this year as a web developer without my own blade server somewhere. None. Period. I'm not joking. I'll become a circus clown or start wandering the earth solving problems like Kwai Chang Caine, but I will not keep doing this. The state of affairs is unacceptable.

Pfrrgle.

Video Games

2009-02-26T14:49:00.003-05:00

Capcom loves money, plans more Monster Hunter for PSP

playstation.joystiq.com

I've not talked much about video games since I came off of the media fast. This is for a good reason: I've not played video games much since I came off the media fast. There's not been any particular reason, mind you - I'm not abstaining further from them or anything like that. I just don't have as big an appetite for them as I used to.

This year has been about setting things right for me in a lot of areas. I'm following through with my diet, clocking in today at a less-beefy-than-ever 216 pounds. I'm also making huge strides in how I spend my time, particularly in attempting to waste as little of it as possible. One of the things that has gone by the wayside has been entertainment that's for "just me." I used to sit down in the evening, fire up a PS3 game, and play to have fun for three or four hours. The idea of letting three or four hours go by like that now is anathema to me, especially when there are so many other productive things that I could be doing.

Now, that's not to say I'm not playing video games at all, mind you, but my gaming time has just been trimmed. I very rarely play alone anymore, and when I do, it's in specialized circumstances. Larry's Now Playing list of games is as follows:

iMafia (iPhone) - Yeah, an iPhone game is on top of the list. I can log in, play for five minutes once or twice a day, and then it does everything else without me having to interact with it. This appeals to me. For those of you without an iPhone, it's basically the Mafia Wars Facebook game, except you win not by having the most friends but by actually, you know, using strategy.

Monster Hunter Freedom (PSP) - It's freaking Monster Hunter! Of course I still play it. Best game ever.

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII (PSP) - This is the "play with Holli" game. We hook it up to the TV and progress through the story, because she loves to watch the story unfold as I play. It's good "us" time when we just need to veg, which we still do en temps de temps. I then do the side quests as time allows between sessions with Holli.

Umm, yeah. That's it. That's the list.

Did you notice a pattern to all of them? They're all portable and meant to be consumed in bite-sized chunks. That's pretty much my gaming style now. I just can't bring myself to sit down in front of the TV and kill hours of time gaming anymore. It's not a bad thing - it's just not my thing.

THIS! IS OMINOUS!

2009-02-26T02:56:00.004-05:00

Maybe you have to know darkness before you can appreciate the light.

Madeline L'Engle
A Ring of Endless Light (1980)

If you know me or follow the blog, you know that I work at night. I don't do it out of pure necessity, but rather for reasons of productivity; I split my day into two shifts, taking care of client contact and business-type-things during the day and doing my actual project work at night. Everyone around here is asleep when I work and the phone doesn't ring, so I'm more productive at night because there aren't any distractions around me. It also ends up giving me more time with my family, so on the whole, it's a good decision.

I'm starting to become acutely aware of the fact that there's not much of anything around me at night, though, most particularly light. This wasn't a big deal to me before, but the more and more I'm exposed to it, the more and more it's starting to bother me. The darkness in the house is palpable. It's cut in the bedroom as I work by the light from my laptop, which really just serves to emphasize the darkness that surrounds me. It's literally like there's this tiny little bubble of light I can see that just barely encompasses me, and there's this oppressive darkness pushing in on me, trying to break into my security.

It's bothering me. I hope this is just a passing thing, or at the very least my growing phobia starts to plateau soon, because this is getting tough to deal with. Maybe that's why I'm blogging about it now - it's the closest thing I can get to human interaction at the moment. I really just want someone to hug or high-five or something, but since that's not an option, y'all will have to do.

Not My Ten Favorite Songs

2009-02-25T19:00:00.000-05:00

This list is invalid.

I love top howevermany lists. Doesn't matter what the subject is. Top Ten Terre Haute Sanitation Companies? Done. Bring it on. And Jamax better be on the top or the list is going to be rendered invalid. See? I'm doing it right now for an imaginary, nonsense list. I can't get enough of them.

When Holli told me that she was writing a list of her top fifty or so songs on her blog, which was posted last week, I had to jump in on that action. I sat down to do it, though, and I just can't. I've tried to write this post five different times, and there's no way I can quantify it.

There's some music that I absolutely love, but only some of the time. Mark Schultz is a perfect example; I love his music, but a lot of it makes me really emotional, which I don't necessarily want all the time. There's music that might not make a top ten list of my favorite songs strictly as a song, but when wrapped up into another medium becomes exponentially better. I'm looking at you, "Jeremy," a great rock song in its own right, but with the dubious distinction of being the best music video ever. Ever. It's not even in question. How do I quantify that?

What about songs that I only like when they're played a certain, non-standard way? I love the song "The Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe, but only when it's played in a soft, melancholy style. The harder, rocking version that got most of the airplay sucks, because it goes from being a sad song to an angry song, and that doesn't fit the lyrics.

This is to say nothing of Holli Syndrome. How can I write the Top Ten list and leave one or two incredible songs off? And who does a Top Twelve list? And even if I started doing a Top Twelve list, what about the one or two incredible songs that got left off? The cycle perpetuates until I'm now trying to rank every song that's ever been recorded by anyone.

See? I'm getting agitated writing about all of this right now. I just can't write this list, and considering how much I love lists, this is truly frustrating for me. But I'm bound and determined that there's going to be a list here, so here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start up my iPod, pull up the list of all of my music, hit shuffle, and write down the first twenty songs that come up. That's it, that's the list. Since I'm copping out, I suppose I'll give a little commentary on each one.

"Closer to You" from Stories and Songs by Mark Schultz
Mark Schultz is awesome, although this isn't actually one of my favorite songs of his. It's a great song, he's just got so much more that I like better than this.
"Ill-M-I" from Welcome to Diverse City by tobyMac
If the iPhone put out enough bass to be obnoxious this would have been my ringtone the day I bought the thing. It might still be unless I come up with something better. I'm nowhere near cool enough to have something like this as my ringtone, which is what makes it awesome.
"Come on Back to Me" from Chronology, Volume Two by Third Day
Best rock band on the planet. Not best Christian rock band on the planet, mind you, but just the best rock band on the planet.
"I Am the Way" from Live ... A Night of Stories and Songs by Mark Schultz
This is a concert album from Mark, which means it's absolutely phenomenal. He's just such a great performer live. I highly recommend that you go see him if you ever get the chance.
"Fate" from Beethoven's Last Night by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Trans-Siberian Orchestra, famous for mail-order commercials for their CDs every Christmas season during the 80's and more recently for the "Wizards of Winter" Budweiser commercial, doesn't just do Christmas music! They do, however, refuse to make music that isn't awesome.
"Sing a Song" from Chronology, Volume Two by Third Day
Tremendous. Holli can't stand this song. I don't know why, because it's awesome, but she just doesn't like it. I approve of its presence in this list.
"Requiem (the Fifth)" from Beethoven's Last Night by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Beethoven's Fifth as done by TSO. There is nothing not to like here.
"Diverse City" from Welcome to Diverse City by tobyMac
tobyMac reminds me that I actually do like rap and hip-hop music. I've got to take it in measured doses, but I enjoy it.
"It Is Well With My Soul" from Singalong by Phil Wickham
You know, favorite albums would have been much easier than favorite songs. Why? Because this would have been on top.
"Overcome" from Awake: the Best of Live by Live
Live is awesome. I think that Ed Kowalczyk's voice is just phenomenal. One of my favorite songs from high school was "I Alone," and it made me a fan for life. I know they're not a Christian band, but a lot of their songs explore Christian themes, and that just adds to the appeal for me.
"What If" from WOW Hits 2008 by PureNRG
I was going to stop this list at ten songs, but I was having fun and wanted to keep going. I am immediately rewarded by having to explain why there's a bubblegum pop group on my iPod. Umm ... because it was on a compilation album and I just ported the whole thing over. Yeah, that sounds good.
"Slow Down" from Revelation by Third Day
I've covered that they're the best rock band on the planet, right? I have? Alright, then, moving on.
"Fulfilled Desire" from the original soundtrack to Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII by Kazuhiko Toyama
That's right. It's music from a video game's soundtrack. I'm a big geek.
"How Great Thou Art" from Singalong by Phil Wickham
This is my favorite of the old hymns from Singalong. Phil does an absolutely phenomenal job with it, and hearing the crowd with him throughout just adds to the power of it. It's one of the songs that will stop whatever work I'm doing when it comes up to listen to it in full.
"Remember" from The Lost Christmas Eve by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
This is another act you should go see live if given the chance. Which, of course, you are every Christmas. It's like an old school arena rock show with fireworks, lasers, and enormous walls of speakers.
"You Are a Child of Mine" from Live ... A Night of Stories and Songs by Mark Schultz
Here we go. It's live, so it's largely better than his studio stuff, and it's one of his songs that doesn't make me cry.
"So Long Self" from WOW Hits 2007 by MercyMe
I like MercyMe, but I don't have any MercyMe albums. All I have from them comes from compilation albums. I should probably remedy this.
"My Heart Goes Out" from Warren Barfield by Warren Barfield
If you've never heard this song, I recommend going out of your way to give it a listen. It's a good song with really powerful lyrics.
"To Be Continued" from the original soundtrack to Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII by Takeharu Ishimoto
More geek music. Because I'm a geek, you see.
"Samuel's Awakening" from Open Up the Earth by Jason Upton
I love Upton. His music is an acquired taste and not something that everyone can get with, but I love it. The passion in his voice as he sings is just unmatched.

It's Been a Long Week

2009-02-20T00:32:00.003-05:00

Just one more dune.

Bill Pullman as Lonestar
Spaceballs (1987)

This week has seemed to last forever. The laptop issue left me with a lot of downtime when I would normally be working, and a lot of working to do when I normally wouldn't be. I'm starting to play the guitar. I've been busting the hump the last couple of days to try to get everything caught up from the outage. I've gotten tons done this week - which is something I'm grateful for - but time has just dragged for the week. I'm ready for the sun to set tomorrow and my week to be over.

I'm just ready for a little bit of rest. I'm ready to get to throw myself into worship the next couple of days. I'm ready to recharge the batteries, because at this point, I've got nothing in the tank. The fact that the work I'm doing right now is work that I find to be somewhat tedious and will take a few hours to complete isn't helping matters, either.

You know, I've got nothing left for the blog tonight, either. I'll see y'all on Monday.

Miss Me?

2009-02-18T00:56:00.005-05:00

Guess who's back
Back again
Shady's back
Tell a friend

Eminem
"Without Me"
The Eminem Show (2002)

Well, my computer works again, so that's good. That's not to say I don't still have a lot to do to get things back up to speed, though. I've got to download all of my software, and that's the big thing. Now, before anyone gets their undies in a bunch about piracy, I'll point out that I'm using Linux and all of my software is free, so I'm not stealing anything. It's just a somewhat time consuming process, that's all.

I don't plan on doing any of that tonight, though. Tonight's going to be spent going through my e-mail and getting fully caught up on that front, although the iPhone - which I do still promise to give a full post to - has been a blessing in keeping it from piling up too much on me. I've got a couple of little client issues I'll be knocking out, as well. Again, nothing huge, but just a few little things to keep myself from falling too far behind.

I'm pleased to be sitting at a functional laptop tonight. I don't ever intend on doing business with Dell again after the customer service fiasco that I went through, but I will offer a short thought on the subject. A company that offers consistently excellent service, outsources said service to India and sees a significant degradation in the quality of service, and then offers to let you pay them more money for the privilege of getting the service they used to provide clearly hates its customers. I would drive down to Round Rock, Texas - directions avaialble via iPhone, by the way - and throw poop at Dell's corporate offices if I thought I'd be the first person to do it this week, but I'm sure I wouldn't be.

On a similar (but slightly less disgusting) line of thought, if there's anyone out there who can provide me with an actual, working phone number to Dell's corporate headquarters, there could be a prize in it for you. I might be able to provide you with, say, nothing. Perhaps thrice nothing if I can pull together enough sponsors.

Disaster Strikes, A Note from Holli

2009-02-13T18:12:00.000-05:00

As long as you're not going to come back and tell me to reformat the drive, that's fine.

Larry, on the phone with Dell this afternoon

So, Larry's hard drive is dead. Again. On the laptop we bought in August. What. The. Heck.

This happened to my desktop in 2005, his last laptop soon after we bought it, and my laptop as well. I'm sensing a pattern.

Anyway, I'm blogging for Larry at his request, since I have a functional computer and he does not until at the very least Monday. So, you'll have to wait for his warm, fuzzy, happy comments until then. Or enjoy the silence. Whichever suits you.

And in the meantime, you can read MY blog!

----------------
Now playing: Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence
via FoxyTunes

A Somewhat Comprehensive List of Things that Make Me Cry

2009-02-13T13:34:00.000-05:00

Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number hree is you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it - if you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're gonna have something special.

Jim Valvano

I figured after last night's Mark Schultz post, I'd just go the Full Monty and show everyone what a big baby I am. Below is a list of things that make me cry, without fail, every single time I'm exposed to them. Notable exceptions will be listed below. Larry's list is as follows:

About half of the Mark Schultz song catalog, as we discussed yesterday.
The Lifehouse Everything skit. It's like its own little prayer to me. I don't know any better way to explain it.
The video WGN showed from the end of the Cubs' 2004 season, which thanks to MLB's fascist media policies I can't show to you because it's not posted anywhere. It was played to Finger Eleven's "One Thing," it had Todd Walker doing the Superman slide across home plate, it was just awesome. And then Chip Caray and Steve Stone both quit. I'm crying right now as I type this.
The charge of the Rohirrim from the film version of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Everything Peter Jackson screwed up when making those movies - a list I could write an entire blog ranting and raving about, mind you - is forgiven by this scene.
Jimmy V's ESPY speech from 1993. The man was dying of cancer - so weak that he had to be helped down the stairs - and he still managed to be a better human being than I could ever hope to be.
The Passion of the Christ. Granted, I've only seen it once, but it absolutely overwhelmed me. I was crying for three people when I saw it in the theater.
October 14th, 2003

The notable exceptions I mentioned at the start of the post: my family. Not because I don't love them, mind you, because they mean the world to me. But because I'm daddy to the kids and husband to Holli, the things that would make me cry - most notably, any pain they might experience - I've got to help them get past. So when Holli is feeling down, one of the girls is going through the stuff little girls go through, or Connor rips his ear open on the posts outside our church, I don't have the luxury of being able to cry with them. I have to stay calm and do my job, because at that time, I'm called upon to be their support. For a crybaby, as I've now been totally revealed to be, that can be difficult.

Mark Schultz: The Rainmaker

2009-02-13T01:01:00.000-05:00

I guarantee you there isn't gonna be a dry eye in the house.

Mike Weaver from Big Daddy Weave
Introducing Mark Schultz at a concert here in Terre Haute

I'm working right now, because that's what I do at night, and as is typical I'm doing it to the sounds of my music library. Mark Schultz came up on the iPod, and uncharacteristically I turned him off. I just didn't feel like crying tonight.

I say that in the most complimentary way that I possibly can, too. Mark is a gifted singer and pianist, and he puts out some beautiful music. Beyond his abilities as a performer, though, I think he's an absolutely brilliant songwriter, and he writes some of the most powerful, emotional music I've ever heard - a large majority of which makes me bawl.

Seriously, it's kind of sad to watch. "Letters from War" comes up and I cry every single time I hear it. I'm not a soldier. I've never been a soldier. My dad kind of spent some time in the Navy, which is to say he hung out at a base somewhere in California and worked as a mechanic for a few years, but he never saw combat or anything. Only very recently have I become close friends with someone who's really been involved in war; not because of any adversion to it, but just because it had never happened in my life up until that point. I see war on the TV - I did when I had one, at least - and that's about it. None of that matters. The song still makes me weep like a little girl, and I consider the ability to make people feel like that a great gift that I'm happy he chooses to share with the world.

Just not tonight, that's all. Such is the power of the skip button. Or the part of the screen that has the arrow pointing to the right. Either one works.

One Server to Rule Them All

2009-02-12T01:37:00.001-05:00

"I pass the test," she said. "I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel."

J.R.R. Tolkein
The Lord of the Rings (1957)

The server guys got me again. I had a client send me an e-mail today, very distressed about a bunch of errors that were showing up in the code I'd written for him. Now, when I'd turned the code over to him, said errors didn't exist, so needless to say I was a bit perplexed. I'm a dutiful web dork, though, so I sat down in front of the trusty Lappy to investigate things this evening.

What did I find? I found that a server monkey somewhere changed a setting that had absolutely no business being changed that made MySQL think that the queries I'd written - which it had no problems with last time I saw them - were now suddenly too complicated. In case you're wondering, they're not, but that's beside the point. The point is that, yet again, a server monkey on a shared host has made a change that's somehow jacked up my code.

Slow, deep breaths, Larry. Slow, deep breaths.

I plan on expanding the business this year. I've got a good friend of mine I'm going to sit down and have a long conversation with, because he'd be the guy I'd pick to be my Number One out of anyone in the world. Whether it's him I start with or someone I bring in from the outside, I'm going to build this business this year.

I'm doing it for a lot of reasons. I'm doing it because I have the ultimate goal of making myself expendable to the business, so that I can drop off the face of the earth to do missions work for weeks at a time and my family can still eat. I'm doing it so that I can go use more of the gifts God's given me to His glory. I'm doing it because, as my accountant - the real one, not my wife - so succinctly put it, "there's only one way for a business to go." I'm doing it because I feel like I've finally been given release by the Lord to do it; like it's finally in His plan for me to do it.

The number one reason I'm doing it, though, is to get my own server. I'm going to buy a big, fat, expensive Linux box, put it somewhere with a huge, treetrunk of a pipe it can plug into, and pay someone who knows what they're doing to set it up and maintain it according to my specifications. When I have my server set up, I will migrate all of my clients that I host over to it. I will demand that any new clients I work with either host on my server or sign a waiver stating that they get absolutely no free support from me after the initial consultation, because I'm not going to fix what a server monkey breaks. My server shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!

New Blogs

2009-02-11T00:17:00.000-05:00

Buy my book! Buy my book! Buy my book!

Jon Lovitz as a talking, cardboard standup of Jay Sherman
"Miserable"
The Critic

Time to pimp out my new blogs! The first is Next Year Chronicles, my new Cubs blog. I'm going to be - strangely enough - chronicling the upcoming season in the hopes that I end up with an awesome log of the Cubs' magic World Series winning season. Stop laughing.

My other is Truth In Internet Marketing, which is going to serve as my manifesto against all of the scummy things a lot of internet marketers do to make a quick buck. Being on the inside of the industry like I am, I get exposed to a lot of it. This is my attempt to try to help protect people from the large majority of the vultures that are out there trying to sell stuff on the internet.

These are both, in some small way, business ventures, so any support you throw my way through visiting and spreading the word about both blogs will be greatly appreciated. Hopefully they'll both be decent reads, though. As I've lamented to friends before, I only know one way to write, so what you'll see in both other spots will look a lot like what you see here. If you like this blog, you might like the others, too.

Catchup Time

2009-02-09T19:21:00.000-05:00

My evil genius Procrastination has whispered me to tarry 'til a more convenient season.

Mary Todd Lincoln

I've been slacking a little on the blog as work has overwhelmed me, but no more! I've got a lot of things to talk about, so in lieu of a real blog post for today, here's a list of the things that are coming up in future blog posts:

The iPhone ... yes, I have one now.
Expansion ... and I'm not talking about gaming here.
More blogs ... which I will ruthlessly hound you all to be new readers thereof.
Music ... I like it a lot.
My wife ... she writes poetry, you see.

Stay tuned! Same Bat-time, Same Bat-channel!

It Stands for What You See Is What You Get

2009-02-08T19:10:00.000-05:00

The phrase was originally a catch phrase popularized by Flip Wilson's drag persona "Geraldine" (from Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In in the late 60s and then on The Flip Wilson Show until 1974), who would often say "What you see is what you get" to excuse her quirky behavior.

Wikipedia: WYSIWYG

Congratulations to my pastor, Eric Starkey, for winning the grand prize of twice nothing for winning the "Help Larry Rename His Blog Sweepstakes!" His twice nothing will be getting delivered via not-an-armored car sometime in the future. Everybody give Eric a big hand.

It works for me. Despite its apparent etymology, its current nomenclature belongs to the geeks. It's commonly used in reference to text or HTML editors now, implying that what you see on the screen as you're editing is what the finished product will actually look like. So it's dorky, which means it fits me.

It also works for me in the more literal sense, because that's what I'm trying to give people a glimpse of with the blog: who I actually am. As Eric himself has pointed out before, the beauty of just being yourself with everyone is that it's so easy on you; you're not having to constantly adjust what you're doing to be one way at church, another at work, another at home, and so on.

I'm just Larry. I love God, I love my family, I love my friends, and when it's not frustrating me, I love my job. I'm trying hard to be a better Christian on a daily basis, and I fail frequently. I love the Cubs. I'm a big geek. I fight a constant struggle with my weight and health. I'm something of a wiseacre, to put it mildly. Hopefully, this blog will reflect who I actually am.

What you see is what you get.

I Need a Name Change

2009-01-30T12:39:00.000-05:00

This is not The Greatest Song in the World, no
This is just a tribute
Couldn't remember The Greatest Song in the World, no, no
This is a tribute

Tenacious D
"Tribute"
Tenacious D (2002)

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that my blog needs a new name. Despite the fact that a curiousity of my parents' naming decision left me as Larry William Swank, often confused with my father and as his junior, without the dignity and sophistication of being Larry Adrian Swank, Junior, I've always found my name to suit me quite well. I appreciate being Larry, ala Larry Joe Bird, rather than being a Lawrence, as everyone automatically assumes, and for the most part, I like my name. It's me.

The blog here, however, needs a new name. For those of you who may have been wondering, I Lead Seven Tiny Bats isn't just a non-sequitur I pulled out of nowhere to be my blog's name, despite how Larryesque an act that might have been. Had I been pulling non-sequiturs, Toast Leavings Diorama would have been the clear winner.

No, I Lead Seven Tiny Bats is a name with history, at least with me. The story is long, and it is in surround sound, so I'll try to keep it as brief as possible for the purposes of this post. In a first-year composition class at Indiana State University, I ended up writing a paper - and for the life of me, I can't remember the purpose of the assignment - that served as a treatise against the holiday Valentine's Day, and was titled in the same fashion as this blog. "I lead seven tiny bats" is an anagram for "Valentine's Day bites."

This paper was, unequivocally, the greatest thing I will ever write. It was funny, it was the penultimate example of my dry, snarky brand of written humor, and it got my reasonably-attractive teacher's assistant who was in charge of our class to hit on me. I will never surpass this writing achievement, which I believe in large part is why I've stopped writing as a regular practice, despite my love for the activity. I'm done; there's nothing left for me to accomplish, because my skill level won't let me do anything better than that paper.

There are two problems with leaving that as the name of my blog, though. First off, the paper no longer exists. I don't save things, you see, and the people who love me who do save things either never saw the paper, didn't know me when I wrote it, or have - uncharacteristically - also lost track of it. This leaves me with no proof to the greatness of this paper.

As a brief aside, I think this adds to its mystique, too, because there's no frame of reference for it except how people remember it. As people remember it fondly, it gets better and better in every telling. It's the written equivalent of William Wallace at this point, shooting bolts of lightning from its margins and balls of fire from its frayed, worn edges. I digress ...

Secondly, I wrote that when I was a lonely, sullen kind of kid. Today I'm a happily married family man that just so happened to have his first date with his eventual wife on Valentine's Day. Needless to say, my opinion of the holiday has changed somewhat since the writing of that composition in 1995. Sweetest's Day is another issue entirely, of course, but that's outside of the scope of this writing.

So, I am left to ponder a name change. I'd like something meaningful and significant, but I can go with a non-sequitur if necessary. Yak Malarkey Theater is sounding awfully tempting right about now. Suggestions are welcome via comments!

I Needed That

2009-01-27T02:30:00.001-05:00

Every time I get another glimpse of Your heart
I realize it's true
That You are so marvelous, God
And I am so in love with You

Big Daddy Weave
"Every Time I Breathe"
Every Time I Breathe (2006)

I have not had a good day. I'm trying to captain the S.S. Pocketbook here leading into tax season, and it's proving to be challenging. Our new cat keeps pooping on the floor, with today making it a third straight day. My work time tonight has been less than enjoyable and highly frustrating. Today has just seemed to be stress after stress after stress, and it was weighing me down.

Big Daddy Weave came to the rescue. I started listening, and they got to that line above, and something just clicked in me. I stopped what I was doing, threw my head back, breathed in deeply, and enjoyed the Father's love.

As I've been growing in my faith, I find more and more that I can take my joy from Him, no matter what the circumstance. He's always there, and realizing that fact and allowing Him to be a part of whatever is going on is going to make it better. The trick to that, though, is in getting our puny, human pea-brains to remember that He's there. I'm getting better at doing that on a day-to-day basis, but sometimes, like tonight, I need a kickstart from somewhere.

Know Your Role, Jabroni

2009-01-26T15:10:00.000-05:00

Larry thinks his meeting isn't going to happen.

Larry's Facebook status as of the time of this writing

Why is it that Facebook wants Larry to write about himself in the third person? Don't they know what kind of a burden this is to Larry? Larry would like to be able to write actual updates, maybe in a little section labelled Status, where he can write normal sentences. Something like this:

I'm going to be working on an internal project today.

Or something like this:

I'm going on a date with my wife tonight - hooray!

That's not okay with Facebook, though. Facebook gives Larry two choices: Larry can write about himself in the third person, or Larry can be grammatically incorrect. Now, any of you who know Larry know that there is absolutely no choice for Larry here; he's going to have to speak in the third person, because consciously choosing to be grammatically incorrect - except when used for effect in creative writing - is anathema to him. Since Larry has to do it so often anyway because of his job, and Larry's looking at you, improper paragraph breaks because people don't like to read, of course he's going to choose to write in the third person.

Larry just wishes that Facebook would give him some choices, that's all. Real choices, mind you, rather than the choice between his words making him seem like an enormous doofus or just a regular-type doofus that Larry has now. Larry wants those of you who are snickering out there to shut up and leave how much of a doofus he actually is out of this, please.

Larry is done writing now. Larry will sit and listen to the hold music on his conference call some more until he's certain that nobody else is showing up. When he hangs up, he's going to go find his Facebook login, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways ...

Unintended Side Effects III: Night of the Unintended

2009-01-22T23:51:00.000-05:00

Darkness there, and nothing more

Edgar Allan Poe
"The Raven" (1845)

Late last year, my workday was extremely frustrating. I just wasn't getting anything done during my eight-hour workday between the noise here at home with everyone around for homeschooling, clients calling in with emergencies, and the demands made of a work-at-home dad. None of my actual project work ever ended up moving at the speed that I wanted it to, and it just wore at my nerves with every day that passed and nothing got done.

After a lot of thought, prayer, and discussion with my wife and those whose opinions I respect, I decided to change my work schedule. My good friend Shannon is a Nightwalker, working an overnight shift at a local factory because he prefers it, not because he has to, and I got to thinking about whether or not it could work for me. The end result sees me now working a schedule like this:

1 PM to 5 PM: I teach the kids and have office hours, taking care of the everyday tasks of business, taking client calls, and responding to emergencies when they pop up.
5 PM to 11 PM: Time with the kids and Holli, plus church and children's activities several nights of the week.
11 PM to 3 PM: I do my project work, with no kids to bother me, nothing that Holli needs from me, and no clients calling in, because they're asleep and their businesses are closed.

This has largely worked for me. I get more done in four solid, uninterrupted hours of work than I ever could in eight hours when everybody's awake. My productivity has gone through the proverbial roof since I started this schedule.

Plus, I end up with a lot more family time out of the deal, too. Since I'm just doing basic business tasks and not anything that requires my total focus, like programming or design, I'm available to teach the kids much more effectively. I'm also available for field trips and the like without missing any of my productivity time.

All in all, I think it was a great decision and I'll never go back if I can avoid it. However, it wasn't without some unintended (and wholly unexpected) side effects, hence the posts title. I present them now to let this post serve as a grim warning to anyone contemplating a similar lifestyle shift.

It is crushingly lonely in the house at night. Nobody is awake. The lights are all off so they can sleep. There's very little noise. I'm without no human company, which I forgot was something that I don't handle very well anymore. It's not without its good points, mind you. It makes for fantastic prayer time, and it's teaching me to rely more on God than on other people. Couple that with my increased focus and ability to do my job, and it's a great decision, but the transition through the crushing despair and loneliness of being alone in a dark, quiet house for four or five hours every night hasn't been an easy one.

What do I eat when? I have no clue at this point. Life was simple when it was breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. Now it's whatever-I-eat-at-noon, snack, dinner, snack, shouldn't-I-have-a-real-meal-now?, and should-I-really-be-eating-this-late? I've not quite sorted everything out here yet.

Reading is difficult. Not a big deal typically, because I'm not normally reading for pleasure or education during my productivity time. I'm staring at a big stack of website changes I've got to make for a client in the next few days as I write this, though, and I'm going to have to do it with the help of a little snakelight I bought at Office Max last week. It's going to be challenging.

Working at the end of the day stinks. Work is not fun. That's why it's called work. Yes, I have a very satisfying job that I love, but I'd rather be spending my time in prayer, with my family and friends, reading a good book, or playing a game. All of you out there with normal jobs, think about how much fun five o'clock is for you when you get to go home and enjoy the rest of your day. I don't get that. It's even worse when it's been a bad day, because then it's "Oh, yay. I get to work now."

I can't go to sleep right away. I get through an awesome productivity period, I've gotten a lot of stuff done, and I've knocked out some great code. Now my brain is going full speed, and it's 3 AM and time to sleep. That does not work. So I've got to wind down and try to relax from the busiest part of my workday to be able to get to bed as quickly as possible. It's quite difficult.

My kids don't care that daddy's trying to sleep at 9 AM. This one is self-explanatory.

Remember, though, this is just a warning to other people who might be considering this. I got blindsided by some of these realities when I made the switch, and hopefully my experiences will be helpful. I'm not complaining by a longshot, though, because any problems my schedule causes will get solved by the following two things: I'll get tons done yet tonight, and then I'll sleep until noon.

UPDATE: I also cannot see where I put my stupid drink on the desk, thereby knocking it over and spilling water everywhere. That's no good, either. Stupid water. What was it doing there right after I wrote this post, anyway?

I Heart LeVar Burton

2009-01-20T23:08:00.000-05:00

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16 (NIV)

Holli and I have an audio presentation of the Bible called The Bible Experience. It's a sharp production, with good voice acting, sound effects, and music. I've got the book of John loaded onto my PSP, and I listened to it on Thursday night last week. John is voiced throughout the Bible Experience by LeVar Burton, which means that the narration of the book of John falls on his lap, as well. I grew up watching Reading Rainbow, and I'm an enormous Star Trek dork, so naturally the guy who read me so many stories growing up and was Geordi La Forge has a special place in my heart.

Despite my obvious biases, I'm going to make the following statement: LeVar Burton doing the voice of John is some of the best voice work I've ever heard on any project. He's gregarious and enthusiastic at the beginning of the gospel, and as the gospel progresses, LeVar's tone changes right alongside it. He starts to make the shift to a more subdued, sad tone after the resurrection of Lazarus, until he's speaking in almost a hushed whisper, seemingly near tears, during the crucifixion. It's emotional, powerful, and just incredible.

I just smiled as I wrote this - I'm sitting having to stifle joyful laughter to keep from waking Holli up, in fact. I realized that here I sit, 31 years old, and LeVar Burton is still reading to me from my favorite book. That pleases me.

Maraschino Cherries Are the Swiss Army Knife of Deliciousness

2009-01-19T23:31:00.000-05:00

They were, at first, produced for and consumed as a delicacy by royalty and the wealthy.

Wikipedia: Maraschino cherry

There is a jar of maraschino cherries in my refrigerator. Today , I used it for the following purposes:

I poured the syrup into my Slim-Fast to make it chocolate-cherry flavored instead of just chocolate.
At ten calories each, I had a couple of them to quell my desire for sweets when it popped up.
For my midnight snack (because I'm up until 4 AM), I had a bowl of applesauce with the syrup added to it for flavor and a few cherries floated in it as surprises.

They're delicious. They go with everything. They're not a main course, but rather an enhancer. I want to fry up some bacon - the other universal overfood - and see how the two go together.

The best part about them? A jar of cherries costs exactly 95 cents at Aldi and lasts me almost two weeks. Oh, maraschino cherries, is there nothing you cannot do?

You Have to Be Freaking Kidding Me

2009-01-19T19:14:00.000-05:00

You have failed me for the last time, Admiral.

James Earl Jones as Darth Vader
Star Wars, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

I've been waiting more than a month - actual time, mind you, not HEST (Hyperbolic Exaggerated Standard Time) - for a server change so I could implement some script for a client. Today, the change, which apparently consisted of little more than adding a .DLL library to the Windows server I'm working on, was finally implemented. Predictably, it broke the server, which now is incapable of processing PHP pages, which prevents me from working on this project tonight.

Now, I'm a fairly easygoing kind of guy about these kind of things usually. It's just that in this case, I've been waiting for a month for action on this issue that probably took them about 30 minutes of research and implementation, the "fix" broke the server I should be working on, and this is the third time server guys have broken something I needed to work on this week. I am at the end of my wits, ready to break the camel's back with the final straw, which is probably woven out of my last good nerve.

I'm not working on client stuff tonight. Unless my biggest client - who I think is battling grizzly bears with his bear hands in the Rocky Mountains this week and therefore is unlikely to contact me - needs something, I'm working on my own projects. I think, at this point, it's necessary to maintain my sanity.

An Open Letter to Hardware Administrators

2009-01-19T00:36:00.000-05:00

UPDATED ALERT ON CURRENT ISSUES

A client's server

LEAVE THE SERVERS I WORK ON ALONE! THEY'RE JUST FINE! THEY DON'T NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE!

Thank you. That is all.

My Wife Is Awesome

2009-01-18T13:32:00.000-05:00

I wouldn't know what to write.

Holli Swank

My wife loves to write. She doesn't write anymore, though, for a myriad of reasons. Last night around the time she usually goes to bed, she said she wanted to write something, but she had no idea what. So, I pressed her to write something for God, and after she fought me for a while, I eventually saw her laying on the bed with a legal pad, scribbling away.

Click here to see the results.

Media Fast Post-Mortem

2009-01-18T00:52:00.000-05:00

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Ann Landers

Last week, the congregation of HealingPointe Community Church collectively decided to go on a media fast. What's a media fast, you ask? Well, it's a fast much like you'd expect someone to fast from food, except we were fasting from secular media. The particulars of it were left up to each of us as individuals.

As for the Swank family, we did the following:

No DVDs at all (we don't have cable or over-the-air television to begin with)
No video games at all
No internet, except for work, e-mail, blogging, and 15 minutes a day on social networking sites to keep up with friends
No secular music

First off, if you're not a member of my church, let me stress that yes, I largely did all of this all week - nine full days, actually, because I started early - and I am still very much alive. I wasn't perfect about this, mind you. I could have told you in the middle of the week that the Cubs wasn't sold, a sign of my weakness. I listened to Johnny Cash's cover of "Hurt" on my PSP one night before I realized I wasn't supposed to. But for the most part, I behaved myself - there were absolutely no movies or video games for me all week.

If you know me, you're probably shocked. How did I survive, you ask? I listened to a lot of Christian music, which was awesome. I'm not going to sit here and tell everyone that you should listen to nothing but Christian music, because that just doesn't work for everyone; that doesn't even work for my wife. But I've discovered that it does work for me. The music is just as good as any other contemporary music, but it comes with the added benefit of bringing me closer to the Lord, and I'll take that. I think I'll still listen to the classical music I'm trying to get myself acclimated to and some of the instrumentals I enjoy (I'm looking at you, Voices of the Lifestream), but that's probably about it for secular music for me.

I prayed a lot more than I normally do, which was awesome. I also got myself wrapped up into some actual, full-on Bible study on a Sunday afternoon that I would have otherwise probably wasted playing video games of some variety. I made time every day for the Daily Audio Bible, which I'd been meaning to do anyway but had been a little lax about so far this year.

I read. I read a lot. I didn't restrict myself from secular books, because honestly I hardly read anything at all at this point, and I really felt like one of the things I was supposed to learn out of this was that I was letting the brain I was gifted with rot, so I just took the opportunity to stimulate it. I read a lot of the Bible; like I said, I actually got into some full-on, scholarly-style study, which I've not done in ages. I pulled out some of my old Battletech novels and I'm warming up on them; when I'm done, I'm going to start on another reading of Lord of the Rings. I've even got a little booklight sitting on my desk now. I used to read all the time, but as responsibilities have built up upon me, that passion has been pushed to the side. I'm glad to have it back.

I worked, even a little more than normal. Without the temptation of my time wasters lying around, I was drawn towards actually getting things done. I got more of my chores done than normal last work and I was extremely productive at work. The word "productive" is this shiny, candy-like button for me now, and it's an appellation that I strive to have applied to myself. I've really been working on it since the new year turned over, but last week I felt like I finally got it.

Did I miss video games? Honestly, no. If anything, I lost my appetite for them. I would still enjoy getting on specifically to play with my friends or with the family here at the house, but I can't see myself spending much time playing alone anymore. Having been - for lack of any better descriptor - out of its clutches for more than a week, I'm kind of shocked to have stepped back and seen just how much time I wasted in front of the PS3. The one thing that might still get time from me as a single-player endeavor from me is the PSP, and that just because I can do it anywhere: on the toilet, in the bathtub, in the car, etc.

Did I miss the internet? Yes and no. Again, much like with video games, I got to step back and get a good look at just how much time I squandered looking at websites that were largely filling me up on useless junk. There were some things that I would have liked to have been checking out here and there, but nothing I couldn't have covered in a 15 to 20 minute roundup every day. The beauty of the internet is that information is available at blazing-fast speeds from just the merest command of your fingers, but the ability for that to suck you in can also be its curse. So, I did miss following up on the Cubs and some industry news, but I do not at all miss wasting hours following an endless stream of links and not coming out better for it on the other end.

What did I miss the most? Do you really want to ask that question? Fine. It was Homestar Runner. Sometimes I just want a good laugh.

I guess you could say that I'm glad it's over, but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. I'm not going to run back to doing things the old way I did them. I'm not working tonight, so I've got time to myself, but it's not like I'm going to run right back out to the recliner and waste three hours playing PlayStation. I'm going to pray and seek the Lord to start to see what He wants me doing. It's really on my heart to start seeking him first and foremost, much more than I do now, and letting everything else fall into place around that.

The first commandment instructs us that we shall have no other gods before Him. I think that this media fast showed me that I had more than I ever could have imagined. It's time to put things right now.

I mentioned earlier that the whole family was subjected to the media fast, and yes, that does include the kids. How did everyone else fare? Holli got a little tired of our library of Christian music by the end of the week - she prefers a little bit more variety than we have in our library right now. As I write this, we're listening to her playlist that's basically her whole library, but at this point it's about 2-to-1 in favor of Christian music, and she's happy with that kind of balance. It's not like she's ran headlong into secular music or anything. She's also on the bed writing, something she loves to do and hardly ever does anymore (largely because of the other distractions), so I'd say she's doing alright.

As for the kids, they're just fine. They spent the week - wait for it - playing. Shocking, I know. We told them no movies and no games, so they just made their own fun and had an absolute blast. They also spent more time with their parents than usual, because we all huddled in together looking for fun, and they seemed to love that to pieces. We played Monopoly twice during the week, which is twice more than I've played Monopoly in the previous five years put together. They also read a lot and - shock of shocks - loved it. My oldest daughter, who it's normally like pulling teeth to get to read, finished a book and was bellowing about how much fun she had reading. I'd go so far as to say the kids had more fun - real, unmanufactured fun - than they have in a long, long time last week.

I don't expect things to just go back to normal next week. Hopefully, we've all learned something from this and grown from this. Especially for the kids, I hope that this maintains for them. I want them to read, to play with each other, and to play with their mommy and daddy instead of vegging out in front of the TV and ignoring the rest of the family again just because they can.

I Wrote This Last Night

2009-01-16T13:07:00.000-05:00

Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat and never get caught.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura

I'm cheating and post-dating this blog post for tomorrow. Sue me. I've got a ten-minute upload going and the urge to write more.

I mentioned Phil Wickham in my last post, and I'm going to mention him again because he's great. We were introduced to him by our wonderful and talented worship pastors at church (hooray for Frank and Beth!) during one of our services. Holli and I liked his music, and we investigated him a little bit. Turns out he has an album, Singalong, available on his site. The cost: cheap as free.

It's an awesome album, too. He did it as a live set, and it's just him with a guitar. He's got a mic for the crowd so you can hear them singing along - oddly enough, considering the album's title - which really adds to its power in my opinion. He mixes in old hymns like "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus" and "How Great Thou Art" with his own original music, and it's just a great, great listen. It gets more time on my PSP right now during my nightly music listening than any other album right now. Plus it's free, as in it costs no money and yet is still totally legal. Go download Singalong now.

If you're at this line, you're still reading and didn't listen to me. You must not be convinced that something that's both awesome and cheap as free is worth downloading. Fine, here's a YouTube video.

Unintended Side Effects II: Unintended's Revenge

2009-01-16T00:07:00.000-05:00

It's fricking freezing in here, Mr. Bigglesworth.

Mike Myers as Dr. Evil
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

Ah, the good old days before I realized that Mike Myers only had five jokes and really wasn't all that funny. Heh.

We have been blessed with a truly lovely apartment. God's taken care of me and my business, and I'm able to provide what I think is a pretty nice life for my family. Yes, we probably should be in a house somewhere in the strictest of economic terms, but at this point, I'm not ready to buy anything yet. That subject's for another post entirely, though, so we'll just leave it at that.

Anyway, back to the point. Our apartment is lovely. We've got these awesome cathedral ceilings in the great room which we absolutely love; thanks to those ceilings, the room has the physics-defying quality of getting bigger the more junk you pile into it, which is perfect for the swank family. Another thing I love about the apartment is that we have no downstairs neighbors, because we're situated above the garages rather than another apartment. A third great perk is that we face west, and we get a great view of the sunset almost every night. We are well and truly blessed to be in this place.

As you may have noticed, however, this post is titled unintended side effects. Why, do you ask? Because as I write this, it's a full negative-freaking-five degrees in Terre Haute, Indiana. That's not the wind chill, mind you - that's pushing negative twenty at this point - that's the actual temperature. With the cathedral ceilings, we've got a whole lot of apartment to heat; with the unheated garages beneath us, we've got really cold floors; and with the wind howling in from the west like it normally does, the worst of the weather is pounding on our apartment. With these factors working against us and it being as cold as it is outside, our heater cannot keep up with whatever we have the thermostat set at. It just keeps falling.

We don't want the heat running 24/7 for obvious reasons, so we try to keep the house warm in the day and then crank the thermostat down at night. The family can pile under a bunch of blankets, the furnace can get a little break, and everybody wins. Except, of course, for daddy, who works until 3 AM every day. So as I sit here working tonight, I'm wearing the following things:

Undapants
Socks
Sweatpants
A t-shirt
A hoodie, with the hood pulled up and drawn tight
My '69 Cubs hat
My fuzzy Dr. Seuss slippers
Monstrous headphones, to keep my ears warm and allow me to listen to Phil Wickham without waking anyone up

I'm still cold. My hands aren't, of course, because my laptop houses a small nuclear furnace and heats up everything that it touches to uncomfortable levels (an unintended side effect of yesterday's unintended side effect is that my hands remain warm enough to type effectively thanks to my overheating lappy). The rest of my body is quite chilly, though.

Here's the part where I get all serious for a second, so if you're not interested in such things, turn back now: despite these minor little inconveniences of tonight, I'm still blessed with more than what 99.9% of the people on this planet have. The mere thought that there are people struggling to huddle together for warmth all across this country tonight - perhaps even here in Terre Haute - and I can sit here and complain about it being 64 in my apartment really kind of puts things into perspective for me. I've been given this colossal blessing here, and I'm still trying to figure out why I'm so lucky to have things like a bed, covers and heat when so much of the world can only dream of such things. Thanks be to God for the blessings He has given me and the promise of the greater blessings to come in His Kingdom.

In other news (because I've still got 3:30 left on my audio upload):

We were blessed with spending some time at the Clarks' tonight. We ate Little Caesar's pizza, which totally busted my diet. It remains among my favorite foods, though, despite having spent time as a Little Caesar's employee in my youth. We also played Cubs Monopoly - which is Monopoly where you buy Billy Williams instead of Boardwalk - which was likely awesome. I've had it since Holli got it for me as a Christmas gift in ought-seven, but until tonight I'd never played it, because she hates Monopoly. All in all, that makes for a good night.

Audio's done uploading, now I just have to wait for it to transcode. Hooray for getting paid to let a computer do something!

We ordered some books from Amazon last week. There were three books in the bundle, and it was enough that we got their Super Saver Shipping; it takes a little longer to get your stuff, but it's free and seemingly a good deal if you're in no hurry. One of the books was on back order, so they shipped the first two on Monday with the promise that they'd ship the other book when they got it in. The first two books are set to arrive on the 20th, which means it more likely will get here on the 21st or so.

This is all fine, because the shipping was free. I wouldn't be telling this story if something nonsensical wasn't being done, though. The third book, which was on back order, came in and was shipped out on Wednesday. Amazon shipped it UPS instead of USPS media mail to make up for it shipping after everything else. It's on a truck bound for Terre Haute from Indianapolis right now, and will be here sometime Friday afternoon - five days before the first part of the shipment will get here. We will never use Super Saver Shipping again, which I think might be the whole point of them offering it in the first place.

I think my audio's done, so it's back to work for me now.

Unintended Side Effects

2009-01-15T01:02:00.000-05:00

Ouch.

Pat Welsh as E.T.
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

My touchpad on my laptop is no good. It's not nearly as sensitive as I'd like it to be - which means it's not as sensitive as my old touchpad - which I hate. Even worse, though, is the fact that I get random lockups in its field of movement; for instance, it randomly decides that it won't move vertically anymore from time to time. This is, as I'm sure you can imagine, a most unfortunate circumstance for a web developer. The fact that the only reliable method I've found for fixing this malady is to - brace yourself for the jargon - bang the snot out of my laptop on the desk is a tad distressing.

As bad as those things might sound, they're not the worst part of it though. The worst part is that my touchpad is warm to the touch. Not warm enough to call it hot, but warm enough that I could use it as a good heating pad if it was considerably larger. So as I sit here every night working, shifting my mouse here and there to fulfill my responsibilities, I'm slowly burning the fingertip of my right index finger. Read that sentence again and let it sink in for a minute.

Yeah, it's no good.

Shut Up

2009-01-14T00:26:00.001-05:00

We are setting the default behavior for magic_quotes_gpc to off in our php.ini's in order to make way for our upcoming SiteBuilder upgrades.

My server
January 13th, 2009

Shut up. Just shut up and stop messing with my magic quotes. I don't want your SiteBuilder, I don't want your apologies for any problems you might have caused, no, no no. I just want you to stop messing with my server. Or, as an alternative, send me an e-mail notice that you've messed with my server. Or, even better, send me the e-mail notice several days in advance of a major configuration change. Whatever you do, though, server people, please try to not make your client have to WASTE HOURS TRYING TO DEBUG CODE THAT SHOULD WORK BECAUSE YOU CHANGED A STUPID 1 TO A 0 IN A CONFIGURATION FILE!

Okay, I think I feel a little better now. Time to go remind myself that I need to make enough new money this year to up my IT budget by about $200 a month so I never have to deal with this kind of nonsense again. Grumble, grumble ...

Revelation

2009-01-10T21:56:00.000-05:00

Give me a revelation
Show me what to do
'Cause I've been trying to find my way
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here
Or do I need to move?
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You

Third Day
"Revelation"
Revelation (2008)

Holli and I finally got a lot of clarity on something that we've struggled with for a long, long time - me especially. In fact, I think in large part it's been my particular struggles that have given her a problem with it, because she feeds very heavily off of me and my emotions in a lot of situtations. We've finally gotten our clarity, though - a word I use instead of revelation thanks to its prominence in the lexicon of a dear friend of mine - and for the first time ever, really, I've got peace about it. This makes me a very, very happy man as I get ready to sleep tonight.

Or possibly work. I remain undecided at the moment.

Doing Some Housekeeping

2009-01-09T02:00:00.000-05:00

Cleanliness and order are not matters of instinct; they are matters of education, and like most great things, you must cultivate a taste for them.

Benjamin Disraeli

Not my actual residence, although it could particularly use it at almost any given moment. Holli and I aren't the best housekeepers, you see. We're aware of our failings, and we do our best to overcome them, but we've still got a ways to go. As long as we know you're coming over, the house will be clean when you get here, but if you catch us unawares, all bets are off. Having all three of the kids at home for homeschooling every day now doesn't make matters much easier in that department, either, so we've got to come up with a system that works.

The actual housekeeping I'm doing at the moment uses the phrase somewhat loosely. I'm getting things organized on the "corporate" website, FortySixTenStudios.com, for the impending reopening of business following my Christmas vacation. Now, it's not like I haven't been working as normal for the past week anyway - I'm not sure my brain is wired for three weeks of vacation anymore - but I've still been closed to the public until Monday. This is giving me a chance to clean up some of the nitpicky things I've wanted to do on that site but hadn't found the time for lately, which is a good feeling.

I've also got some internal housekeeping that needs done. I'm trying very hard to let the Lord take care of that instead of doing it myself, though, because as with the real housekeeping, I find myself lacking in that department. Our church is being led into a season of corporate fasting and prayer, and I'm going to try to do everything I can to really throw myself into that. God willing, I'll have the strength to seek Him out and get things straightened up.

We're talking about possibly kicking things off with a "media fast" next week - no access to the junk that gets filtered in through the media - and I couldn't be more excited about that. We don't have cable or an antenna or anything here, so TV is scarce to begin with; we borrow the occasional special or season of something from the library here and there, but for the most part, our TV consumption is limited. Perhaps more importantly in that, though, our consumption of TV commercials is almost non-existent, leaving me blissfully ignorant of what's cool or what I have to have. I like that.

I'm rambling now, but it's somewhat related, so I'll yap about it anyway. We're planning a Family Blackout sometime in the spring when it warms up. We're going to throw the breakers and use nothing that involves electricity for a day, just to let the kids get an idea of what it's like. Please don't be surprised if I enjoy it and none of you ever see me again without a map to my cabin.

If any of you think I'm serious, please stop and think for a minute. Larry couldn't build a cabin. He's also afraid of the woods and likes running water. C'mon, people.

Thinking Inside the Box

2009-01-07T20:11:00.000-05:00

I'd make a reference to thinking outside of the box here, but then I'd have to punch myself in the face and take a few showers to rub the stench of buzzwords off of me.

Larry Swank

Despite appearances, my disdain for buzzwords and phrases is not the true subject of this post. I'm actually here to talk about my new toy on my desktop: VirtualBox, from the fine people at Sun Microsystems. What is VirtualBox, you ask? It lets me create virtual machines inside my Linux desktop environment.

What's a virtual machine, you ask? Without getting too terribly technical, it lets me install other operating systems on my desktop and open them on my desktop. It basically lets me have an entire second computer operating within a window.

The practical application of this is that through this technology I have made Microsoft subjugant to the awesome might of open-source technology. There are still a few things that I have to have Windows for: a couple of apps for client conerns, and software for my PDA and PlayStation Portable, to be specific. It's not enough that I want to set up a dual boot or anything like that, because that feels like I'm admitting that Linux doesn't work for everything I need. The VirtualBox ends up being the perfect solution, though; it gives me enough functionality to do everything I need, but it doesn't feel like I'm cheating on Linux or anything.

My Windows background in my VirtualBox is of Tux, the traditional penguin mascot of Linux, rampant on a red field waving a red flag behind him. Linux is spelled out in yellow with a hammer and sickle for an "x," and there's text beneath saying that Microsoft is for capitalists and mentioning the GPL, or Glorious People's License. This gives me untold glee every time I look at. I'm sure that fact says something about me, but I honestly couldn't tell you what that might be.

Patience

2009-01-07T03:00:00.000-05:00

I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game

Guns N' Roses
"Patience"
G N' R Lies (1989)

In doing the necessary research, I discovered two interesting things. First off, Patience is almost twenty years old, which makes me feel ancient. I have friends who aren't as old as this song, yet I remember its release vividly. Secondly, it's reported that Carrie Underwood covers this song live at her concerts; I think I might actually enjoy that. She's got a good voice, and apparently it's just her and three acoustic guitars when she does it, which is right up my alley.

God's trying to teach me to be more patient. To wait on His plan for my life and follow it, rather than trying to rush blindly forward with whatever it is that I'm trying to do. Take, for example, the project I'm working on right now; it's an affiliate marketing piece that I've been working on all day that I really wanted to launch tonight. I can't do that, though, because the DNS changes I needed to make to get the site live haven't fully propagated yet. So, I have to sit here and wait, which is something that my flesh absolutely despises.

I'm a ready, fire, aim kind of guy. I know that I shouldn't be that way, and I'm thankful for the work that God's doing in me to change that. It's so hard sometimes to just slow down and wait for him to lead me instead of rushing blindly forward. The times in my life where I'm actually able to muster up the strength to pause, say a quick prayer, and seek His guidance, it's always right there and things always go better for me. Despite this truth, though, I still want to rush ahead and get clobbered by life.

So here I sit, unable to do what I want to do because it's just not time for it yet, and with no choice but to go ahead with my plan unfulfilled for the night. Honestly, I can't think of anything that would be better for me right now. I'm going to wrap things up here at FortySixTen Studios for the night, go seek my Lord in prayer, then hit the sack. Perhaps the babies won't wake me up playing rugby or pretending to be elephants or whatever it was they were doing this morning.

UPDATE: Alright, it's not half bad ...

Have I ever mentioned my deep and abiding love for YouTube?

My Little Virtuoso

2009-01-06T16:35:00.000-05:00

This heart is Your instrument
And this life is Your song

David Phelps
"Virtuoso"
Revelation (2004)

My son is playing Burnout Paradise in the living room. Upon firing the game up, his first demand was to listen to Virtuoso by David Phelps; this is because my son has awesome taste in music. He then proceeded to go to a Road Rage in the game and kick the computer's butt.

Connor is seriously good at this game. I mean, scary good. He's a veritable artist, with the car as his paint and the asphalt as his canvas. I can't decide whether or not his skill at a game primarily about speeding and crashing pleases me or worries me, so for now I'm just going to be proud of my little boy's skill and hand-eye coordination.

Now, for those of you who have never heard of the song or of David Phelps, I present Virtuoso. Please press play and treat your ears to the best male voice on the planet. And in true Fat Albert style, if you're not careful, you might learn something, too!

Making Copy

2009-01-06T01:05:00.000-05:00

Alright! The Rand Old Opry, makin' copies!

Rob Schneider as Richmeister
"Richmeister"
Saturday Night Live

I'm writing web copy tonight. As my Twitter feed clearly shows, this is something at which my skill is subjective. There are some things I'm really good at; logic problems, cleaning up children's vomit, and Wheel of Fortune, just to name a few. My skill in those areas is considerable and irrefutable. Other things, however, such as writing web copy, fall into a more grey kind of area.

You see, I've only got one gear that I can write in: snarky. It really doesn't matter what I'm trying to write or how I'm trying to write it, it just ends up with this generally kind of snotty, almost funny sort of tone. It's been likened to Dave Barry's writing, only without the skill and with a serious attitude problem. Not that I have an attitude problem, of course, but it's just how things come out when my brain starts sending signals to my fingers. I've been told that I'm a very good writer by a great many people - almost enough that I'm inclined to believe it - but I also know that I'm limited in my scope.

So, whether or not I'm a good copywriter is largely subject to your opinion of what makes for good copy. My copy is unique, it grabs attention, and it is largely unlike the vast majority of web copy that you'll find out there. The last part is most likely where someone would find fault with my work as a copywriter. If you want the status quo, same old boring long form letter that's been written a thousand times already, I'm not your guy. If you want something that people will remember, though, and perhaps even - horror! - enjoy reading, I can give you that.

I'd make a reference to thinking outside of the box here, but then I'd have to punch myself in the face and take a few showers to rub the stench of buzzwords off of me.

This Is My New Favorite Verse

2009-01-03T12:49:00.001-05:00

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)

I'm in Bible study today at the table as part of what I hope becomes my new routine for Saturdays. It's not like the idea is new or anything, but again, with me, it's the matter of taking a new idea and making a practice out of it. I know what to do here - as with a lot of other areas in my life - it's just that doing what needs to be done is difficult at times.

Anyway, I wrote Holli a Bible verse archiving script a while back. It lets her tag verses with various descriptors and look them back up later, and it seems to help her in her study. Well, a couple of months ago, one of our pastors at HealingPointe spoke about verses that helped to give us meaning and self esteem. Along with her message, she passed out a sheet with a big list of verses on it broken into three categories: I am accepted, I am secure, and I am significant. I took those verses today and added them into the archiving script, both for Holli's use and for my own, and now I'm reading through them.

In reading through, I came across that verse from 2 Timothy, and it speaks volumes to me. I'm a guy, and having elevated levels of testosterone as opposed to half of the world probably makes me look at my Lord and King as a warrior and a leader in addition to all the wonderful things He is. That outlook also makes me look for those qualities in myself, and they're sometimes hard for me to find. Having this verse as affirmation is huge for me; God didn't make me weak - he made me to to be able to accomplish the work He has planned for me here and to be able to lead my family. He wouldn't have made me with those tasks and not made me capable of accomplishing them.

As I said, that affirmation is important to me. Sometimes you just want someone to hug you and tell you something positive. Well, this verse does that for me.

If any of you are interested, you can find the Bible verse script and browse through the categories I mentioned (or any of the other verses that have been logged) at www.FortySixTenStudios.com/bibleversesearch.php. Having delivered that shameless promotion, I now leave you, dear readers. Have a blessed day!

This Quote Is an Enormous Spoiler

2009-01-02T16:46:00.000-05:00

This is good ... isn't it?

Richard Doyle as Big Boss
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

It's been a pretty good day today. I've still got my focus, which means day three of my odyssey to try to live up to the potential that God gave me is going well. I'm still working on the budget in my head, but I think I've done about as much as I can do with it at this point. Right now, I'm just ready to eat some dinner, then kick back and enjoy my day of rest once the sun goes down.

Yes, that implies that I'm tired, but it's the best possible type of tired I can imagine. I feel like I've actually gotten an enormous amount of stuff done the past few days, and that's a really good feeling. It's one I'd like to keep around for a while.

Bookmarks

2009-01-02T11:21:00.000-05:00

Oh, holy craps. I can actually read your blog now?

Holli Swank

Yes, Holli, you can read my blog now.

Anyway, I'm going to start documenting some of the stuff that I do here in this space. It'll be kind of like I'm making my work progress accountable to the world. It's like in Ye Olden Dayes (tm) when you got to Finger someone to find out what they were doing, but without the unintentionally funny sexual overtones.

Anyway, I worked last night, despite being on vacation. Vacation's pretty much over at this point, as far as I'm concerned. Since all of my clients think I'm still on vacation, though, I mostly worked on things for me. What did I work on, you ask? Well, I wrote a piece of software to allow me to create online bookmarks. I like to reformat my computer - quite frequently, in all truth - and I always lose my bookmarks. Well, lost bookmarks no more.

It was really just something to get my coding muscles working again after a long period of dormancy. I might tweak it to turn it into a product some day, but there are already tons of services like it out there that are free. I didn't write mine because it's better, necessarily, but because it's mine and it's going to work the way I want it to. In cases where the code is simple, I'd rather rewrite an already extant system to make it serve my purposes than rework my thinking to make my needs fit what's available with the system.

I'm pretty sure I've lost you all at this point. I'll stop typing now.

A Fresh Start

2009-01-02T01:04:00.000-05:00

This was unexpected
What do I do now?
Could we start again, please?

Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice
"Could We Start Again, Please?"
Jesus Christ Superstar (1970)

It's been an interesting start to ought-nine for me. I'm in the middle of my vacation at the moment, and I've had a lot of time to reflect. It's not that I don't do this frequently or anything, but this time, something feels different to me. I've talked big words about getting my finances straight, losing weight, controlling my temper, and so on and so forth before, but I actually believe that things are going to stick this time.

I spent most of the day today mired in the deepest pits of the Swank family budget, cleaning house, and reading Dave Ramsey's book. The amount of time I wasted today was inconsiderable. For those of you who know me well, this probably sounds like I'm talking about someone else. Honestly, though, there's no way to describe things other than to say that I feel like someone else.

It's like God's pulled me along gently, inch by inch, letting me fix a little thing here or a little thing there. He always seemed to be moving me along at a pace that seemed manageable. This time, however, He's just kind of flung me headlong into the Pit of Things Larry Needs to Fix (tm) with a promise that He'd meet me on the other end of it. For the first time in my life, though, I actully feel like I'm going to make it.