Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Be Still

Be still, and know that I am God;

Psalm 46:10a (NIV)

I've been having a rough few days. I hadn't quite been able to put my finger on exactly what was going on, mind you, but I knew that something was wrong with me. Tonight, I figured it out. I had my priorities kinda wacky.

Typically, I list my priorities like this: Christian, father, web geek. "Faith, Family, Finance," as a great mentor of mine would call them. Well, to start off, I was given a gentle reminder that those priorities aren't correct in the first place, but we'll discuss that in a minute. The big, glaring problem is that the "web geek" priority had been coming first, and that cannot happen. More specifically, things aren't going to go well when that happens.

I've been worrying about work and about getting things done and flailing away at this big wall in front of me with my little, man-sized fists and getting absolutely nowhere. Because I was getting nowhere, I started flailing even harder; I'm stupid like that sometimes. I'd been ignoring my Bible study, not spending time with my family in quantities that are acceptable, and generally just having a miserable existence.

Tonight, I put that right. I was working and flailing again, and I realized that I needed to go back and do a couple of episodes of the Daily Audio Bible to catch up. So, I started listening while I was working, which doesn't work. I can do one or the other, but not both. I paused the DAB, wrote a couple of quick e-mails before I forgot what I was going to say, and then took my iPhone out onto the balcony and started listening to God's word.

A couple of things happened here when I allowed myself to be still for a moment. First off, He spoke to me through my favorite verse: the first episode I listened to contained Psalm 46 - you know, my business' namesake. I was reminded that sometimes I just need to slow down and listen to Him. As I did so, I also had the error in my priorities pointed out to me, and now I can get things squared away.

The first step to fixing things is to put work back where it belongs; on the bottom of the stack. I love my job and I am tasked with doing my job well - serving my clients as if I were serving God Himself. At the same time, though, it always needs to be the least of my concerns. My first two priorities, as Jesus lists them, are (in order) to love God and to love people. Be a web dork is down on the list somewhere under those two.

So, that's been slid back down into its appropriate spot. I took some time out of my worknight tonight to sit and commune with my Lord, which was awesome. I'm also reorganizing my priorities a little more, so they look something like this now: Love God (which does not necessarily include doing things for the church), love my family and everyone in my sphere of influence, and then everything else. Eric preached on this a while back, and I think the reality of it really just started to sink in for me today.

Tomorrow, I write about how awesome it is to work on the balcony. Actually, I think I'll do it now while I'm on the balcony and it's all right in front of me. It's not getting posted until tomorrow night, though, so you'll have to wait. Nyaaah.

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